Le train d'amour: A frantic, messy ride

Is it worth your time?

Honestly, it depends on how much patience you have for old, slapstick-heavy comedies that move at a million miles an hour. If you enjoy the frantic energy of 1930s French cinema, you’ll find some charm here. If you prefer your plot to actually make sense, stay away. It’s definitely not for everyone, especially if you get bored by constant shouting.

The whole thing feels like a stage play that someone decided to film on a moving locomotive just for the sake of the headache. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in Les nouveaux messieurs, though maybe a bit more scattered.

Wait, what’s happening?

Characters are constantly popping in and out of doors. It is exhausting. You’ve got Nino Constantini running around like his hair is on fire. Half the time, I wasn’t sure if he was the hero or the person causing all the problems.

The dialogue is fast. Like, really fast. There’s a scene about twenty minutes in where someone is explaining a fake identity, and I swear they talk for three minutes straight without breathing. It’s almost impressive. Almost.

Small things I noticed

• The train set looks like it’s made of cardboard and hope.
• Alice Tissot steals every single scene she’s in, usually by just looking annoyed at everyone else.
• The lighting changes so drastically between shots that it feels like the sun is having a panic attack.

It’s the kind of movie that doesn't care if you keep up. It just wants to get to the next punchline, even if the last one didn't really land. Sometimes it hits, and sometimes it just falls flat on its face.

There’s a specific bit involving a misplaced suitcase that lasts way too long. The director clearly loved this gag, but after the third time someone tripped over it, I was ready to throw my own popcorn at the screen. 🚂

Still, there’s a certain sweetness to it all. It doesn’t take itself seriously at all, which is a nice change of pace. It’s not trying to be Les loups entre eux or some heavy drama; it just wants to make you giggle at a guy falling over in a dining car.

My final takeaway? It’s a messy, silly, loud little film. Perfect for a rainy afternoon when you don't want to think too hard about anything at all. Don't expect a masterpiece. Just expect a lot of doors opening and closing.