The Passion Play (1934) is weirdly hypnotic

If you enjoy old, dusty cinema where the camera barely moves and everyone acts like they’re posing for a painting, you might get a kick out of this. If you need pacing, a cohesive script, or anything resembling modern acting, stay far away. This isn't a movie you watch for the plot; it’s a movie you watch to see what people thought movies should look like when the medium was still catching its breath.

There is this one sequence where the crowd is just... standing there. It goes on for so long I started checking my watch, but then I realized the silence is actually kind of creepy. It has none of the polish you see in something like The Sin of Nora Moran, which at least has the decency to feel a bit unhinged. This is just stiff.

The beards. My god, the beards. They look like they were attached with nothing but hope and maybe some Elmer’s glue. It’s distracting. Every time a character speaks—or tries to—you’re just waiting for a mustache to peel off and drift away into the desert wind.

I found myself thinking about Palio while watching this, mostly because both films feel like they belong to a completely different planet. The lighting here is remarkably flat, like they forgot the sun existed and just decided to film under a giant grey blanket. It’s almost impressive how much they managed to avoid any sense of depth.

• The extras look like they’d rather be literally anywhere else.
• The set design is basically three rocks and a piece of cloth.
• The pacing is glacial, bordering on fossilized.

Is it worth your time? Only if you’re a total film nerd who gets a weird thrill from watching the cracks in early cinema history. Otherwise, you’re just watching people walk in circles. Sometimes they trip over their robes, and that’s the most exciting part of the whole hour. It’s not profound, it’s just there. 🎞️