Watching 'Armies of the World' is like finding a dusty scrapbook of global anxiety

Is it worth your time?

If you're a history nerd or just someone who gets a kick out of old, silent-era footage, sure. Otherwise, you’re probably going to be bored to tears. It’s not for the casual viewer looking for a plot. It’s definitely not for anyone who expects, well, actual filmmaking.

Honestly, watching this feels like you’ve accidentally stumbled into a history teacher’s private archive. It lacks the punch of The Fighting Strain, which at least had a narrative thread to hold onto. Here, it’s just guys in stiff uniforms walking in circles.

The vibe is… strange.

There’s this unnerving emptiness to the whole thing. You see thousands of men marching, but you don’t hear a sound. Just the hum of the projector. It’s all about surface-level preparedness. They want you to think everything is under control.

The pacing is non-existent. One minute you’re watching cavalry, the next it’s just a blurry shot of a ship that stays on screen for way too long. I found myself staring at the background extras, wondering what they were thinking. Did they know they’d be watched in 2024? Probably not.

Odd little things:

• The uniforms look incredibly uncomfortable.
• There’s a horse that clearly didn’t want to be there.
• The editing feels like someone just taped random strips of film together.

It’s a bit like watching Meidän poikamme merellä, except without the charm or the context. It’s just footage of people standing in lines. It reminds me of those old propaganda reels they’d play before a feature, but without the actual feature following it. 📽️

You can tell they were trying to make everyone look impressive. But mostly they just look tired. It’s a strange window into a time when nations thought showing off their guns was the best way to keep the peace. We know how that turned out. It’s almost sad to watch.

I wouldn't call this cinema. It's more of a technical curiosity. If you decide to watch it, keep your expectations low. Like, basement level. It's not trying to entertain you, it's trying to impress you with boots and cannons. It fails at both, but it's strangely hard to look away.