Calling All Tars: Bob Hope in a uniform, what else do you need?

Is this for you?

If you have a soft spot for 1940s screwball comedies and don't mind a plot that’s thinner than the ship’s hull, you’ll probably have a good time. If you need logic or, like, a coherent ending, stay far away.

Bob Hope is basically playing the same guy he plays in everything, which is fine by me. He’s frantic, he’s fast-talking, and he’s constantly looking for an exit strategy that doesn't exist.

The whole premise of dressing up as a sailor to get girls feels like something out of a How Could You, Caroline? fever dream, except with more deck scrubbing. It’s pure farce, the kind where everyone shouts and doors are constantly slamming.

The bits that stuck

• The moment they realize they’ve actually been enlisted is genuinely funny because of the look on their faces.
• The ship extras look like they’re just waiting for lunch, which adds a weird layer of realism to the background noise.
• There’s a scene involving a mop that goes on about ten seconds too long, and you can tell the director just gave up on cutting it.

The movie doesn't really try to be anything other than a showcase for Hope’s patter. Sometimes that’s enough. Other times, you’re just watching people run around a studio set that smells like sawdust and desperation.

It’s not quite as daring as The Hunchback of Notre Dame in terms of scale, obviously, but it has its own tiny, frantic energy. It feels a bit like a sketch that got stretched until it snapped.

I found myself wondering if anyone on set actually knew how to tie a knot. Probably not. But who cares? The jokes land about half the time, which is actually a better ratio than most modern comedies manage.

It’s a breezy, silly little thing. Watch it on a rainy afternoon when you don't want to think too hard about the state of the world. Just don't go in expecting a masterclass in naval tactics.