Die Drei um Christine Review: Too many guys in the Black Forest

You should probably watch Die Drei um Christine if you have a soft spot for those old, dusty German movies where everyone wears a lot of wool. It is a cozy film. If you want something with actual tension or a plot that moves faster than a tired goat, you will likely hate it.

It is very much a movie for people who like to look at trees. There are a lot of trees here. It's the Black Forest, so that makes sense, I guess.

Maria Andergast plays Christine, the new teacher in town. She is very sweet and has that 1930s way of looking slightly surprised by everything. Everything.

She shows up and immediately the local Mayor decides he likes her. He is a widower. He’s also played by Fritz Kampers, who has a very loud way of existing on screen. He stomps around a lot.

The weird part? His son also likes her. The movie doesn't seem to think this is as creepy as I did. They just sort of compete for her attention like it's a friendly game of cards.

The Third Guy

Then there is the musician. He is played by Hans Söhnker. He is on vacation from the city and has very shiny hair. You can tell he is the "romantic" choice because the music gets all flowery whenever he walks into a room.

He plays the piano. A lot. Christine seems to like the piano, but she also seems to like just being nice to everyone. That is her main character trait: being nice.

I noticed the classroom scenes are actually kind of funny. The kids all look like they were told to sit perfectly still or they wouldn't get lunch. One little boy in the back just stares at the camera for a solid five seconds. Nobody noticed in editing.

The whole thing feels a bit like Ådalens poesi but with less poetry and more mountain hiking. It has that rural vibe where everyone knows everyone else's business.

There is a scene where they are all eating. I think it was soup. The sound of the spoons hitting the bowls is really loud for some reason. It made me hungry.

The Mayor's son is supposed to be "troubled." In this movie, that just means he leans against walls and looks annoyed. I relate to him the most, honestly.

Is it any good?

It is fine. It is a very safe movie. It reminds me a bit of Swedenhielms in the way it handles family drama, though it’s not quite as sharp. It just kind of floats along.

The black and white photography is actually pretty crisp. You can see the texture of the rocks and the leaves. It makes the forest look very deep and dark, which is a nice contrast to the sugary romance.

I don't know why movies back then loved the "father and son like the same girl" trope. It happens in Der geheimnisvolle Spiegel too, sort of. It’s just uncomfortable to watch.

"Will she marry the right one?"

the poster asks. You will know who the right one is within ten minutes. There are no big twists here.

The ending is very sudden. One minute they are talking about feelings, and the next, the movie is just over. I feel like they ran out of film or maybe it was time for dinner.

It’s not a masterpiece. It’s a postcard. A long, slightly repetitive postcard from 1936. 🌲

If you enjoy seeing how people used to imagine "simple village life," give it a look. Just don't expect it to stay in your head for very long after the credits roll.

Also, the Mayor's hat is way too small for his head. I couldn't stop looking at it.