If I Were Rich: A dusty little scheme that mostly works

If you have a soft spot for British black-and-white comedies that feel like they were filmed in a drafty theater, If I Were Rich is worth a look. If you need high-octane pacing or logic that holds up under a microscope, stay far away.

The whole premise is built on that classic trope of the 'formerly wealthy' family trying to fake their way back into the good graces of the elite. It’s thin, sure, but Jack Melford sells the desperation with a kind of frantic energy that feels real enough.

There’s this moment where they spot the money in the electrician’s toolbox. The camera just lingers there for an uncomfortable amount of time. It’s like the director wanted to make sure we knew exactly how much cash we were talking about, but it ends up feeling like the prop guy just didn't want to move the box.

Sometimes the film feels a bit like Freckles in its earnestness, though it’s definitely a different beast entirely. They really commit to the bit, even when the dialogue starts to creak under the pressure of the plot.

Odd bits I noticed:

• The electrician’s toolbox looks brand new. Like, suspiciously new.
• The way people walk into rooms in this movie is almost exclusively with their chins held way too high.
• There is one reaction shot in the second act that goes on for about ten seconds too long. I actually checked if my player had frozen.

It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in Her Whirlwind Wedding. Everyone is rushing, everyone is lying, and it’s all going to blow up. You know it’s coming, but you watch anyway.

Is it a masterpiece? Hardly. But it’s got this weird, dusty charm. It’s the kind of movie you put on when you want to turn your brain off for an hour and just watch people in suits get into trouble for no good reason. 💸

I found myself actually rooting for the daughter. She’s the only one who seems to realize the whole plan is completely bananas. The rest of them? Just chasing ghosts.

Anyway, don't expect a deep dive into human nature. Just expect some guys in hats making bad decisions. Sometimes that’s enough.