Music and Millions (1936) - A dusty but charming musical mess

If you are the kind of person who spends their Sunday afternoons digging through old archives for 1930s British "quota quickies," then Music and Millions is probably already on your radar. For everyone else, it is a bit of a toss-up.

You should watch this if you have a soft spot for grainy black-and-white films where the jokes are fast and the sets look like they might fall over if someone sneezes. You will probably hate it if you need a plot that actually makes sense or characters that have more than one dimension.

The movie is basically a delivery system for musical numbers and comedy sketches. It feels less like a cohesive story and more like someone filmed a variety show and tried to glue it together with a thin plot about a singer named Jean, played by Jean Colin.

Jean Colin has that classic 1930s energy where she looks like she’s constantly surprised by everything. Her voice is clear, though the audio quality on the copy I watched was pretty rough in spots.

Then there is Gene Gerrard. He plays the agent, and he is just exhausting to watch in a way that’s almost impressive.

He talks so fast you can barely keep up, and half the things he says aren't even jokes, just noise. It’s that specific kind of frantic British humor that you either love or want to mute after ten minutes.

The whole thing reminds me of Vaudeville in how it just keeps throwing performers at you. Some of them are great, and some of them are just... there.

The Weird Stuff

There is this one scene with Chela and Dorvay, who are dancers. The camera just stays still for way too long, watching them move around a stage that looks suspiciously like a gym floor.

It’s a bit woodden, honestly. You can tell they only had a few days to shoot this whole thing.

At one point, a character walks off to the left, but you can still see the shadow of their head on the backdrop for a good three seconds. It is the kind of mistake that makes these old movies feel more human, I think.

The movie doesn't really try to be high art, which is a relief. It’s a lot lighter than something like Making of a King, which takes itself way too seriously.

I noticed that the costumes for the chorus girls are surprisingly detailed compared to the actual sets. The sets are just flat painted walls, but the sequins on the dresses catch the light in a way that feels expensive for a movie this cheap.

There is also Claude Dampier, who pops up and does his usual "professional idiot" routine. If you’ve seen him in anything else, you know exactly what to expect, but he still made me chuckle once or twice.

His timing is so weird. He waits just a second too long to respond to people, and it makes the whole scene feel slightly off-kilter. 🙃

Is it any good?

The plot about the "Millions" part of the title is so thin it’s basically transparent. It’s mostly about people shouting in offices and then cutting to a stage where someone is playing an accordion.

It’s definitely better than The Fire Chief, but that’s not saying much. It has a bit more heart, even if that heart is buried under layers of dust and bad puns.

I found myself looking at the background actors a lot. There is one guy in the club scene who looks genuinely confused about where he is supposed to stand.

He keeps shifting his weight and looking at the camera. It’s great. I love seeing people fail at being extras.

The music is... fine? Most of the songs are forgettable the moment they end. Except for the main theme, which stayed in my head for about an hour and then vanished forever.

It doesn't have the energy of Rain or Shine, which at least felt like it was trying to be a real movie. This feels like a filmed rehearsal.

Final thoughts while drinking tea

• The lighting in the office scenes is way too bright, everyone looks like a ghost.
• Gene Gerrard’s mustache deserves its own billing in the credits.
• The ending happens so fast I thought my player skipped a chapter.
• There is a dog in one scene that is clearly the best actor in the film.

Don't expect a masterpiece. It’s a relic of a time when movies were just something to do on a rainy Tuesday afternoon in London.

If you go in with low expectations, you might have a decent time. Just don't blame me if you find the comedy a bit too dated to handle. 🎬

It’s short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome. Unlike some of the characters who just won't stop talking.

I think I liked the variety acts more than the actual leads. There’s a raw quality to the performances when they stop trying to act and just start performing their stage routines.

Anyway, it’s a weird little piece of history. Probably won't watch it again, but I'm glad I saw it once.