Outlaw Rule: A Rough Ride Through Old West Tropes

If you've got a soft spot for grainy, black-and-white westerns where the good guys wear big hats and the bad guys look suspicious from the moment they step into the frame, you might find something to like here. If you need pacing that doesn't feel like a slow-moving stagecoach, though, keep walking.

Honestly, this one is for the completionists. The kind of people who can sit through Golden Rule Kate without blinking. It's not reinventing the wheel—it’s just kind of letting the wheel roll down a slight incline for an hour.

The plot is exactly what you'd expect. A rancher is losing his patience and his cows. Then the sheriff—who was probably useless anyway—gets himself killed. Naturally, everyone points the finger at the guy who was actually trying to solve the problem.

There's a scene near the middle where the dialogue gets so stiff I thought the actors were reading off cue cards placed behind the horse's ears. It’s honestly kind of charming in a weird way. You can almost hear the director shouting, 'Just stand there and look angry!' from off-camera.

Some of the extras in the background of the town scenes seem to have absolutely no idea what they're supposed to be doing. One guy in the corner of the saloon shot just stands there polishing the same spot on the bar for three straight minutes. Did anyone notice? Probably not, but I did. 🐎

Yakima Canutt is in this, which usually means the stunt work has some actual bite to it. Whenever he’s on screen, the movie perks up like it just drank a cup of black coffee. The rest of the time? It feels like we're just waiting for the next horse chase to start.

The sheriff's death happens so quickly and with so little buildup that you almost miss it if you look away to check your phone. It just happens, and then everyone is suddenly in a courtroom or a jail cell. Poof. Just like that.

It’s not a masterpiece. It’s not even a particularly good western if you compare it to the heavy hitters. But there’s something honest about how scrappy it feels. It’s a B-movie through and through, and it doesn't try to be anything else.

If you want a movie that demands your full attention, watch Where Was I? instead. If you want something to have on while you're folding laundry or fixing a loose floorboard, this fits the bill just fine. Just don't expect to remember the rancher's name by tomorrow morning.

• The horses are clearly the best actors on set.
• The shadows in the desert look like they were painted on.
• I’m still not sure why that one guy wore a vest the whole time.