Rosalie: A whole lot of tap dancing and not enough sense

If you have a high tolerance for people breaking into song for no reason and can handle plots that barely exist, Rosalie might be your cup of tea. If you prefer movies that actually move somewhere, well, maybe skip this one. It’s mostly for the folks who want to see Eleanor Powell tap dance until their eyes go numb, which I guess is a mood.

The whole thing feels like a giant, expensive cake that forgot to add sugar. You’ve got Nelson Eddy trying to be all heroic and dashing as a West Point guy, but he’s basically just a cardboard cutout with a nice voice. When he’s singing, it’s fine, I guess. But when he has to talk? Yikes.

The Dancing, Though

Eleanor Powell is the only reason this thing holds together for more than ten minutes. When she gets going, she’s like a machine. There’s this one sequence where she’s dancing on a giant drum, and you can tell she’s just better than everyone else on the screen. It’s like the rest of the movie is just waiting for her to come back and save it. She really is that good.

Then you’ve got Frank Morgan. He’s running around trying to be funny as the King, but it feels like he’s in a completely different movie than everyone else. Maybe he was bored. I was bored.

• That song sequence that felt like it lasted for forty-five minutes.
• Why is everyone wearing so many medals?
• The sets look like they cost a fortune but feel totally empty.
• The way Nelson Eddy stares at the camera when he's singing. It’s a bit much, honestly.

It’s strange watching this after something like The Smugglers, where the stakes actually feel real, even if they’re silly. Here, nothing feels real. It’s just glossy, shiny stuff happening in a vacuum. You can almost see the studio executives in the back of the room checking their watches.

The plot about her being a princess? It’s treated like this big, world-ending secret. By the third act, I just wanted someone to tell the truth so we could all go home. The pacing drags so bad in the middle you could probably take a nap and wake up and they'd still be singing the same chorus. Seriously.

If you're a die-hard fan of the era, you'll find something here. If you're just looking for a good time at the movies, you might want to look somewhere else. It’s got that weird, stiff charm that only 1930s musicals have, but that doesn't make it good. Just kinda... there. 🎥