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7/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 7/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. The Private Life of Henry VIII remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you’re looking for a stuffy, boring history lesson about British kings, you should probably skip this one. But if you want to see a fat guy yell about capons and play card games on his wedding night, then The Private Life of Henry VIII is actually a blast.
People who love witty, theatrical comedies from the 1930s will have a great time here. Anyone expecting a deep, political drama about the Protestant Reformation will be totally annoyed because the movie basically ignores all of that stuff. 👑
First off, Charles Laughton is absolutely eating up the scenery. Literally. He spends about half his screen time tearing meat off bones with his bare hands and throwing the scraps on the floor.
It's kind of gross but you honestly can't look away. He plays the King like a giant, spoiled toddler who also happens to have the power to chop your head off.
The movie starts right after his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, is already out of the picture. The film doesn't even bother showing her, which is pretty hilarious in a dark way.
Instead, we jump right into the execution of Anne Boleyn. The way they handle the execution is so weirdly casual.
People in the crowd are literally gossiping and laughing while the executioner is sharpening his sword. One lady in the crowd looks like she’s just waiting for a bus to arrive.
The whole movie has this weird, domestic comedy vibe that feels closer to something like What Wives Want than a serious historical epic. It’s all about the bedroom arguments and the food.
My absolute favorite part is easily the stuff with Anne of Cleves, played by Elsa Lanchester. She is so funny and weird.
She basically decides she doesn't want to marry this loud king, so she acts as annoying and ugly as possible on purpose to get a quick divorce. They end up playing cards on their wedding night and she just absolutely destroys him.
Laughton's face when he realizes he's been played is priceless. 🃏
The pacing does get a bit sluggish near the end when Katherine Howard comes into the picture. That whole segment feels way too serious compared to the rest of the film.
The movie suddenly tries to be a tragic romance, and it just doesn't work as well. We went from a guy throwing chicken legs at his courtiers to a sad girl crying in a dark room.
Also, can we talk about how short this movie is? It's under a hundred minutes but it covers like four marriages, so some of the wives get about five minutes of screen time.
Merle Oberon is Anne Boleyn and she’s gone before you can even finish your popcorn. But hey, maybe that's why it works, because it never has time to get boring.
The music is also incredibly loud and kind of annoying. It just blares during every single transition like a school band trying too hard.
But overall, Laughton's energy carries the whole thing. He makes this terrifying historical monster seem strangely human, even when he's being awful.
If you haven't seen it, it's definitely worth an afternoon watch. Just don't write a history paper based on it. 😉
IMDb 5.9
1930
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