The Star of Valencia: A weird, dusty ride on the high seas

Is it worth your time?

Look, if you are a fan of creaky, old-school melodrama and have a soft spot for ships that look like they might fall apart at any second, sure, give it a go. If you need snappy dialogue or something that moves faster than a tugboat, you are going to hate this.

It feels like a relic pulled out of a damp basement. Sometimes that is charming, and sometimes it is just plain exhausting.

The vibe

The whole kidnapping setup is pure pulp. You have got these shady slave traders who seem to spend more time adjusting their coats than actually being intimidating. They snatch this cabaret singer and think they are so smart, but they clearly haven't met a persistent husband in a uniform before.

The pacing is… well, it is a choice. There are moments where the camera just hangs on someone’s face until you start counting their eyelashes. I don’t know why. Maybe they thought it added depth?

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of The Star of Valencia (1933) through its definitive frames.

The scenes on the coast guard cutter are the best part, mostly because the guys on the boat look like they are genuinely confused about where they are. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in Night Flight, but with way more salt spray and way less altitude.

Odd little things I noticed:

• The background extras in the cabaret scenes look like they are just waiting for the craft services table to open.
• The ship noises are super loud in the mix, then suddenly silent. My ears were constantly adjusting.
• Every time the villain speaks, he looks slightly to the left of the camera. It’s distracting once you see it.

There is a part near the middle where the plot just sort of… wanders off. It is like the director got distracted by a shiny button on a uniform and forgot that the lady was still locked in a cabin somewhere. It’s not quite as chaotic as Bull-Oney, but it gets close.

Is it great cinema? No. Is it weirdly watchable if you are bored on a Sunday afternoon? Maybe. Just don't go in expecting a masterpiece. It is just people being dramatic on water. Sometimes that’s enough. 🚢

I found myself wondering if they actually filmed on a boat or just on a very shaky wooden deck in a studio. It’s got that specific wobble to it. You know, the kind that makes you feel a little bit seasick even if you are sitting on your couch.