Why Join the Legion? We're in the Legion Now is a weird little trip

Is it worth your time?

If you like old-school black and white flicks where the plot moves with the speed of a tired camel, you might get a kick out of this. If you need snappy pacing or modern logic, steer clear. It’s for the folks who enjoy digging through the bargain bin of history just to see how they made movies back then.

The whole thing kicks off with two low-level hoods who are clearly in over their heads. They’re running from people much meaner than them, which is a classic setup I’ve seen a thousand times, like in King Solomon of Broadway. But here, the pivot to the Foreign Legion feels like they just ran out of ideas for the city streets.

The transition is jarring. One minute they're dodging thugs, the next they're wearing fancy kepis in the middle of nowhere. I kept waiting for a punchline that never really arrived.

The Sand and the Struggle

There is a lot of sand. Seriously, I felt like I needed to dust off my keyboard after watching these scenes. The production quality is... well, it’s certainly *there*.

• Vince Barnett brings a weird energy that makes the whole thing feel like a stage play gone wrong.
• The dialogue sounds like it was written on a napkin during a lunch break.
• Some of the extras in the background look like they’re just waiting for the craft services truck.

There’s a moment about midway through where the tension is supposed to be high, but instead, it just feels like everyone is sweating profusely. You can tell the cast is trying, but the script keeps tripping them up. It’s almost painful to watch, yet I couldn't look away. 🏜️

It’s not quite as sharp as Captain Kidd, which had a bit more of a swagger to it. This one feels smaller, like it’s being held together by duct tape and sheer willpower. There's a specific scene where they're marching that goes on for about 45 seconds too long. I checked my watch. Twice.

Ultimately—wait, I promised myself I wouldn't use that word. Let's just say it's a weird artifact of a time when the Legion was the go-to trope for anyone needing a quick escape. It's not great cinema, but it’s human in its messiness. Sometimes that’s enough to keep you watching until the credits roll. 🎞️