The Commuters

Summary

Suburban ennui combusts into nocturnal pandemonium when mild-mannered Larry Brice—tethered to commuter rails and respectable deceit—succumbs to Rolliston’s siren song of downtown neon. Through a daisy-chain of speakeasies and Long Island pleasure-domes, the pair carouse until a theatrically flung streamer lands on the polished pate of Sammy, a tempestuous bandleader whose wounded pride swerves toward vendetta before wine, pasta, and sentimental bravado broker a boozy truce. Larry’s fib of urgent overtime unspools over a tinny telephone wire, the distant jazz bleeding through the receiver like a confession; Hetty, his wife, retires wounded, only to wake and find the maestro snoring under her guest-room quilt. Chaos multiplies: a slatternly maid’s shriek, suffragettes brandishing righteous parasols, C.O.D. parcels gone feral, jealous love-notes mislaid, and a mother-in-law mistaken for Medusa—each farcical domino accelerating toward a crescendo of slammed doors, flying pajamas, and bruised egos. When dawn’s 7:46 express whistles, Larry scampers back to ledgers and shorthand, leaving Sammy to navigate a minefield of petticoat politics and small-town scorn. In the end, Broadway’s siren call reclaims its errant son, and the commuter’s picket-fence paradise quivers—slightly cracked but still standing—after the comic earthquake subsides.

Synopsis

Larry Brice and his friend Rolliston are suburbanites. Rolliston invites Larry to stay downtown with him and take in the cabarets which Larry, with a pang of misgiving, consents to do, 'phoning home the usual excuse about business. The two friends "do" the various roadhouses, acquiring liquid refreshments and sundry joys en route, winding up finally in a Long Island Palace of Joy. When the confetti-throwing stage is reached, Larry, with splendid aim, bounces a ball of serpentine off the bald head of excitable "Sammy," director of the Italian orchestra. With murder afore-thought, the sensitive musician follows the devious route of the paper missile, arriving at the table of the two friends where reconciliation, wine and spaghetti supplants manslaughter. Larry 'phones his wife, Hetty, that business continues to press, forgetting, however, to shut out the strains of music from the telephone booth. She goes to bed disgusted and some hours later hears her husband arrive with "Sammy" in tow, insisting that the latter take the guest's bedroom. Then Larry promptly falls asleep, awakes in time for the 7:46 and hurries to the office without telling Hetty of his new-found acquaintance. Meanwhile, Carrie, the maid, dirty, slangy, lazy and incompetent, finds the bed disordered, and lifting the covers, screams at the apparition of the sleeping Sammy. Hetty guesses the truth. Sammy forthwith takes his departure, but gets only to the street, where the small boys pelt him unmercifully. Sammy returns and refuses to budge until a suit of clothes is provided. And Hetty, with a wife's freedom, expresses herself clearly to Larry over the telephone, causing that gentleman to rush out. C.O.D. a suit of street clothes for Sammy. In the interim, the suffragette club meets at the Brice home. And then things happen rapidly. The carrier arrives with the clothes; the maid refuses to accept the C.O.D.; Sammy frantically pursues him, beats him up, takes the clothes and is in the act of stealing softly into the house when the suffragettes discover him. He is mauled by four husky women, the constable is called and Hetty again rushes to the rescue, explaining to her friends that Sammy is no burglar. With suggestively-raised eyebrows, the suffragettes march home, making divers and sundry remarks concerning Hetty's conduct. While that unfortunate young woman is carried half fainting to her room, the constable arrives and arrests Sammy. From this plight, Larry, who has just arrived home, saves him. Sammy insists upon staying for supper and Hetty announces the expected arrival of her mother. This causes Larry to hurry Sammy out of the house. They meet Rolliston and in his big racer make another night of it among the roadhouses. In the meantime little Mrs. Rolliston visits Hetty with the information that her husband is also missing, and suggests that Hetty take vengeance. To this end Mrs. Rolliston addresses a love note to Hetty, purporting to come from "Jack," and while concocting their plot are interrupted by the arrival of Larry and Sammy. Hetty slips into a clothes closet, while Mrs. Rolliston slips out of the door. The latter promptly tells her husband, who 'phones Larry of the proposed joke, but forgets to tell him of the letter. When Larry meets Hetty in the dining room, she drops the fake note and he, in a sudden fit of jealousy, creates a family row. Upstairs Sammy has found a pair of Larry's pajamas and goes into the guest's room where the apparition of mother-in-law in bed causes him to flee softly to the nearest room, which chances to be Larry's. That young man meanwhile has gone to Rolliston for an explanation of the note. Hetty, anxious to make up, goes to Larry's room, put her arms around him, and to her horror discovers Sammy. A few minutes later when Larry is returning from Rolliston's, he is made suddenly aware of a terrific racket from the upper bedrooms of his home. Fearing for his wife he rushes up the steps, only to find that Sammy had gotten into mother-in-law's room and had been dealt with in the approved fashion. This settles Sammy, who hurries back to his beloved Broadway, swearing that the commuter's life is no life for him.