A Love Story is a bit of a dusty relic

Is this actually worth your time?

If you have a thing for vintage European melodrama and don't mind a movie that moves at the speed of a glaciers, sure, give it a go. But if you get bored when people spend ten minutes just looking out of windows while clutching their chests, steer clear.

Wolfgang Liebeneiner plays the officer, and honestly, he looks like he's carrying the weight of the entire Prussian military on his shoulders. Or maybe he just forgot his lines. It is hard to tell sometimes.

The romantic tug-of-war

The whole premise of the married baroness and the sweet, wide-eyed singer is a tale as old as time. It’s the kind of conflict that feels like it belongs in a textbook about early cinema tropes. Magda Schneider is charming enough, I guess, but she plays the “innocent” part so hard it feels like she is trying to audition for a halo.

The chemistry? Well, it is a bit like watching two mannequins try to flirt. There is a lot of meaningful staring, but not much spark. I found myself checking my watch, which is never a great sign.

Specific bits that stuck

• There is a scene in a parlor that lasts for what feels like an hour. The lighting is so dark you can barely see the furniture, let alone the actors' faces.
• Every time the baroness enters a room, she makes sure her scarf is perfectly placed. It’s an oddly specific detail that kept distracting me from the actual dialogue.
• The music swells up at the most random times. Someone says "hello," and suddenly the violins are screaming like the world is ending.

I kept thinking about how much more punchy this would have been if it didn't take itself so seriously. It’s not as interesting as The Little Widow, which at least had the decency to be funny sometimes. This one just wants to be Important with a capital I.

It’s fine for a rainy afternoon if you really want to feel like you’re doing something high-brow, but don't expect a revelation. Sometimes a movie is just a movie. 🤷‍♂️