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5.2/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.2/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Bone Crushers remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have eight minutes to spare and a weird obsession with sweaty men from the 1930s folding each other like lawn chairs, then Bone Crushers is *absolutely* worth your time. Otherwise, if you need things like "plots" or "characters," you will probably turn this off after thirty seconds.
This is a tiny Sports Champion short that feels less like a movie and more like a dusty reel someone found in an attic behind a stack of old newspapers. 🤼♂️
It basically shows some guys training, doing weird neck bridges, and then hitting each other in a real match.
What cracks me up is the "writing" credit for Paul Gerard Smith. Like, what exactly did he write here?
"Okay, now Bob, you go ahead and grab his ear while looking slightly confused." There is no story, just pure, unadulterated meathead energy from a bygone era.
The training scenes are the best part, honestly. You see these dudes doing exercises that look like they would instantly herniate a modern spine.
One guy does this weird headstand-bridge thing on the canvas that made my own neck ache just watching it.
It has that same raw, slightly clumsy physical energy you get in early cartoons like The Plowboy, except with actual human bones at risk.
Then we get to the actual match. It is not like the flashy, theatrical stuff you see on TV now.
These guys are just heavy, solid blocks of muscle grunting and sliding around on a canvas that looks **incredibly** dirty.
The camera just sits there, mostly. It dont move much, which actually makes the whole thing feel strangely real, like you are sitting in the third row smelling the liniment.
Ward Wing is listed in the cast, though good luck figuring out which sweaty guy he actually is without a program.
Some of the holds they show look incredibly painful, but the crowd in the background looks almost bored.
There is this one older guy in the front row who doesn't blink for about a minute. I think he might have been asleep with his eyes open.
It is a very different vibe from the high melodrama of silent dramas like Little Annie Rooney, where every emotion is plastered across someone's face. Here, the only emotion is "I am trying to rip this man's arm off."
Is it a masterpiece? Obviously not.
But as a quick window into what people found entertaining back when the radio was still a big deal, its pretty fascinating.
Just dont try any of these moves at home unless you have a good chiropractor on speed dial.
IMDb —
1916
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