Coronado: A bit of fluff, a bit of headache

Is it worth your time?

If you like old-school musicals where everyone is impossibly polite even when they're being awful, maybe. If you hate movies where the 'rich boy meets poor girl' trope is treated like a scientific discovery, skip it. You’ll probably spend half the runtime wondering why these people don't just talk to each other for five minutes.

I caught this the other night while looking for something that felt like Flirtation Walk but with less focus. It’s light. Almost too light. It’s like a souffle that never quite set, but you eat it anyway because you’re already sitting there.

The Coronado Vibe

The hotel itself looks nice enough, I guess. It’s got that glossy, black-and-white shine that makes everything feel expensive even when the plot is hovering somewhere near the bargain bin. June Wray is played with a lot of wide-eyed sincerity that sometimes works, but mostly just feels like she’s waiting for a cue that never comes.

The tent-city scenes are hilarious in a 'we didn't have much money for sets' kind of way. It’s all very stagey. Sometimes you can practically see the edge of the painted backdrop if you squint hard enough.

• Eddy Duchin’s orchestra is the real MVP here.
• The plot moves at the speed of a tired snail.
• The sailors, Chuck and Pinky, are clearly just there to break up the monotony of the romance.

I found myself zoning out whenever the dialogue got too heavy on the 'we can't be together' stuff. It’s just so repetitive. Every time you think the tension is building, someone starts singing, and the whole conflict just evaporates into thin air.

Also, the Marine-hating bit? It feels like a weird side quest that got glued onto the main story by accident. It’s not funny, just kind of loud. Maybe I'm missing the cultural context from 1935, but it felt like watching someone have an argument in a language I don't speak.

It’s fine. Just fine. You won't remember the ending ten minutes after the credits roll, but the music is pleasant enough to hum along to while you check your phone. Not every movie needs to be a masterpiece, right?

Sometimes the best thing you can say about a movie is that it didn't hurt to watch it.

I did get a kick out of the minor characters popping in and out. They look like they're having a much better time than the leads. The leads are too busy being earnest, while the extras are just doing their own thing in the background. That's the real show.