Darkest Africa: Lions, serials, and a whole lot of jungle tropes

Is this thing worth your time?

Look, unless you are a die-hard fan of 1930s cliffhangers or you have an weird obsession with watching people wrestle lions, you’re probably going to find this one a slog. It’s for the folks who love the dusty, primitive charm of old serials, but anyone looking for actual narrative momentum will likely bail before the third chapter.

It’s not exactly high art, and the pacing is pretty much glacial despite all the frantic yelling. If you find old-school adventure films tedious, stay far away. You might have more fun watching The Amazing Adventure if you want something that actually moves.

The jungle is basically a stage

The whole thing feels like it was filmed in the corner of a very cramped studio lot. You can practically smell the painted backdrops. The jungle doesn't feel dangerous; it feels like a place where everyone is just waiting for the next cue.

Clyde Beatty is the main draw here, mostly because watching him stand near a lion is genuinely unnerving. The man clearly wasn't reading from a script when he was in the cage, and that’s the only time the movie actually feels alive. Everything else is just noise.

Odd bits and pieces

• The high priest's costume is wild. It looks like it was made from leftover curtains and sheer spite.
• There’s a weird amount of staring. People just stare at each other for minutes on end.
• The stock footage of animals is edited in so clumsily it’s actually kind of funny. One second they’re in a tent, the next they’re looking at a blurry leopard.
• I swear the same three palm trees appear in every single location shot.

The dialogue is painfully stiff. It feels like every actor is trying to project to the very back of a theater that doesn't exist. There’s no subtlety, no nuance, just a lot of loud declarations about the 'Goddess of Joba'.

Watching this made me think of Atlantis, but without the ambition. It's just a job for these people. Beatty is doing his lion act, the actors are collecting a check, and the writers are just trying to hit fifteen episodes without falling asleep.

Sometimes the scene just cuts to black mid-sentence because they ran out of film or patience. It’s sloppy. I kind of love that about it, even if the experience of sitting through fifteen chapters is a bit like eating dry toast for a week straight. 🦁