Earthworm Tractors: A long road for a simple sale

If you're looking for a high-stakes thriller, keep walking. This is the kind of movie that feels like a Tuesday afternoon spent in a dusty hardware store. People who love old-school, talky comedies with a bit of slapstick will get a kick out of it, but everyone else? Probably gonna hate how much time we spend staring at tractor tires.

Alexander is the ultimate salesman who is clearly bluffing his way through life. Watching him try to convince a guy like Johnson—who is basically a human cactus—that he needs a tractor is honestly exhausting. Johnson just wants to be left alone, and honestly, I relate to that on a spiritual level.

There is this one scene where Alexander tries to show off the equipment and it just goes sideways in the most predictable way possible. You can practically see the sweat on his forehead. It’s not exactly The Notorious Lady in terms of intensity, but it has this strange, frantic energy.

The pacing is a bit of a mess. Sometimes the dialogue snaps back and forth like a tennis match, then it just... stops. Dead. For a solid thirty seconds, nothing happens but people looking at the dirt. I don't know if that was a stylistic choice or if the editor just needed a nap. 🚜

I found myself wondering if anyone in this town actually does any lumber work. They seem to spend an awful lot of time arguing about tractors instead of, you know, cutting wood. It’s funny in a 'why are you still talking' kind of way.

Joe E. Brown is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. If he wasn't constantly twitching or looking bewildered, the whole thing might have just dissolved into a pile of rust. He’s got that wide-eyed panic down to a science.

Anyway, it’s not a masterpiece. It’s barely even a solid lunch-break watch. But if you have a soft spot for movies that feel like they were filmed in someone's backyard, you might find something here. Or you might just fall asleep. Either way is fine by me.

Random observation: The hats in this movie deserve their own billing. Everyone is wearing something absurdly specific.