Waterloo (1929) review: Too many horses and a very tired Napoleon

If you have a free afternoon and a high tolerance for grainy black-and-white fields, you should probably watch this. It is definitely for the person who likes seeing how big a movie can get without using a computer. If you hate slow movies where people stare at maps for five minutes, you will probably want to turn it off after ten minutes.

It’s a German movie, so it spends a lot of time making sure you know the Prussians were the real heroes. The story is just the battle, mostly. It starts with a lot of build-up and ends with everyone screaming and falling over in the mud.

I noticed right away that the actor playing Napoleon, Charles Vanel, looks like he hasn't slept in three years. He has this heavy way of walking that makes you feel bad for him even though he’s the bad guy here. His hat always looks just a little bit too big for his head. It kept distracting me in the close-ups.

There is a scene early on where a bunch of officers are sitting around a table. The lighting is weirdly dark, and you can barely see their faces. It makes the whole thing feel like a secret meeting in a basement rather than a royal palace. I liked that part because it felt gritty and not shiny like some other old movies.

The scale of this thing is honestly kind of terrifying. There are shots where the camera is up high and you see thousands of tiny dots moving across a hill. Those aren't toys. Those are real guys in itchy wool uniforms. It reminds me a bit of the crowd energy in Spartak, but with more gunpowder smoke.

The smoke is actually a problem sometimes. In the middle of the battle, it gets so thick you can’t tell who is winning or even who is shooting. Maybe that was the point? It felt realistic, like the director just let the cannons go and hoped for the best. It’s much messier than something like The Galley Slave.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Waterloo (1929) through its definitive frames.

I found myself focusing on the horses a lot. There is one white horse that looks very nervous every time a gun goes off nearby. I hope the horse got a treat after the scene was done. You don't see animals acting that genuinely scared in movies anymore.

The pacing is very uneven. It will go from a huge explosion to a very long, quiet scene of a woman waiting by a window. These parts feel like they belong in a different movie entirely, maybe something like Humanity. It slows the momentum down just when you’re starting to get into the fighting.

One guy in the British army has a mustache that looks like it’s about to fall off. I think he was supposed to be a serious character, but I couldn't stop looking at his upper lip. Little mistakes like that make these old films feel more human to me. It’s not perfect, and that’s why it’s interesting.

There’s a lot of shouting without sound, obviously, because it’s silent. But the actors use their whole bodies to show they are yelling. It gets a bit exhausting to watch after an hour. You start wishing they would just sit down and have a snack.

The Prussian arrival at the end is treated like the greatest thing to ever happen. The music in the version I watched got really loud and triumphant. It’s very clear who paid for the film to be made. Still, the sight of the cavalry coming over the ridge is genuinely cool.

I think the movie is about twenty minutes too long. There is a sequence with some dancers that just goes on and on. It doesn't add anything to the war story. I guess they just wanted to show off the costumes they rented.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Waterloo (1929) through its definitive frames.

Speaking of costumes, the uniforms are incredibly detailed. You can see the different braids and buttons on every single coat. Someone spent a lot of time sewing all that just for a guy to fall into a puddle. It makes you appreciate the effort that went into making movies back then.

If you've seen Unseeing Eyes, you know how these old dramas can sometimes feel a bit cold. Waterloo is like that too, until the very end. The final shots of the empty battlefield are actually pretty sad. It stops being a big exciting show and just becomes a grave.

I didn't really care about the individual soldiers much. The movie doesn't give you enough time to learn their names before they are sent into the meat grinder. It’s more about the mass of people than the person. That might bother you if you like character-driven stories.

It’s a weirdly beautiful film in a brown and grey sort of way. The dirt looks real. The sweat looks real. Even the mud looks like it smells bad. It’s a very physical experience to watch it.

Don't expect a history lesson that is 100% accurate. It’s a movie made by people who had their own ideas about why Napoleon lost. But as a piece of spectacle, it still works pretty well. You won't find many movies today that feel this heavy.

Anyway, it's a solid watch if you're bored. Just make sure you have some coffee ready for the slow parts in the middle. It's a lot of hats, a lot of horses, and a whole lot of walking. Worth it for the scale alone.