El hombre bestia: A weird, hairy mess

Is it worth your time?

Look, if you are the kind of person who gets a kick out of grainy, low-budget madness from the past, you’ll probably find something to enjoy here. It’s got that specific, dusty energy you only get from old black-and-white experiments that clearly ran out of money halfway through shooting.

If you prefer your movies to make sense or feature, you know, actual production value, you’re going to hate this. It’s messy, it’s disjointed, and the pacing is all over the place.

The whole thing kicks off with a WWI pilot stuck in the woods for 12 years. You’d think he’d have some stories to tell, but mostly he just growls a lot.

Then enters the mad scientist. Because of course there is a mad scientist. He decides the pilot isn't wild enough and starts doing some surgery that is definitely not sanctioned by any medical board.

Oddly specific observations

• The cave set looks like it was built out of leftover cardboard boxes and a prayer.
• The makeup for the "beast man" is mostly just a really unconvincing wig and some dirt.
• I swear the same two trees appear in every single outdoor shot.
• The acting reaches levels of melodrama that make The Valley of Lost Souls look like a documentary.

There is a scene near the middle where the beast man just kind of stands in a doorway for a solid thirty seconds. Nothing happens. He just stands there, breathing heavy, while the camera waits for him to do something. It feels like the director forgot to yell 'cut' and just left it in.

It’s honestly kind of charming in a broken way. It reminds me of the chaotic spirit you see in Koo Koo Kids, though with significantly more growling and kidnapping.

The pacing is a disaster. One minute we’re dealing with a plane crash, and the next we’re watching someone try to hide a woman in a hole in the ground. There is no middle ground here. It just jumps from one weird idea to the next without caring if the audience is keeping up.

If you’re looking for a deep, psychological study of a man losing his mind, don't look here. This is purely for the 'let's see how weird this gets' crowd. 🧟‍♂️

It’s not a masterpiece. It’s barely a movie, really. But it has a pulse, and sometimes that's enough for a Tuesday night when you’ve run out of better options.