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5.3/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.3/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Hollywood on Parade No. A-5 remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you're the kind of person who enjoys clicking through grainy YouTube archives at 2 AM, this might be your speed. Everyone else? You’ll probably find this about as exciting as watching a local news montage from ninety years ago.
It’s barely a movie. It’s more like a collection of clips where people from the thirties smile and wave at the camera while someone tries to make it sound like a grand event.
There is this one moment where a star just stands there looking completely lost. It felt like they were told to 'act natural' and just forgot how to be a person for a solid ten seconds. It’s actually the best part of the whole thing.
I couldn't help but compare it to the stuff I've seen in The Ragged Princess, though they aren't even trying to tell a story here. This is just pure, unadulterated marketing for people who didn't have Instagram yet.
The pacing is all over the place. One minute you’re looking at a guy in a suit, the next you’re being rushed to a completely different set without any explanation. It’s jarring, honestly.
You can tell they wanted this to feel like a big deal. They really lean into that 'hey, look at these fancy people' energy. But after a few minutes, it just feels like you're watching strangers at a party where you weren't invited.
It’s not good, but it is weirdly fascinating if you’re into the history of the industry. It lacks the actual heart you find in something like No Woman Knows, which actually bothers to build a world for you to sit in. This is just a list of names. A parade, I guess.
Skip it unless you’re doing a deep dive on Louis Lewyn. Even then, maybe just watch it at 2x speed. 🎞️