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6/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 6/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Hollywood on Parade No. B-5 remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
So, is this worth ten minutes of your life today? Only if you have a real thing for vintage Hollywood and don't mind feeling a little second-hand embarrassment.
If you’re looking for a deep story, you’re gonna hate this. It’s basically a flashy brochure with legs.
Lloyd Hamilton is our guide. He has that kind of squeezed-up face that was apparently the peak of comedy back in the day.
He’s dragging these beauty pageant winners around to various "hot spots." It feels incredibly staged.
Nobody is actually having fun. They are all just performing the idea of fun for the camera.
The way the girls stand in a line is so stiff. They look like they are waiting for a bus, not partying at a glamorous club.
There is this one shot where a girl gets handed a drink. She looks at it like it’s a piece of moon rock. 🍹
I honestly noticed the backgrounds more than the people. The art deco furniture in these places is to die for.
It’s way more interesting than the actual plot of something like A Crazy Night, even if nothing really happens here.
The camera moves in this clunky, heavy way. You can almost hear the gears grinding in the silence.
Hamilton does this bit with his hat. It’s his "thing," I guess, but it feels a bit tired.
It reminded me of the energy in Screen Snapshots, Series 10, No. 3, just a bit more desperate.
You see Bill Henry for a second. He looks like he’s scanning the room for the nearest exit.
I kept wondering what these girls were actually thinking. They won a big contest and their prize was... being led around by Lloyd Hamilton.
Some of the dresses are so heavy. They look like they’re wearing the women instead of the other way around.
It’s a ten-minute time machine. No more, no less.
The sound quality is pretty rough. There is a constant hissing in the background of every scene.
It’s like listening to a ghost whisper about gin. 🍸
If you’ve seen Kitty from Kansas City, you already know the vibe. This is just less musical.
The way the sequins catch the light is actually pretty beautiful. Even if the film is grainy.
I liked the part where they just walk through a door. That’s it. That’s the whole scene.
It reminds me of the weird pacing in Nuts and Jolts but without the actual slapstick.
The girls’ smiles all look exactly the same. They must have practiced in a mirror for three days straight.
Hamilton’s eyes are always darting around. He’s looking for his next cue or maybe a drink.
It’s a bit like a student film if the students had a massive studio budget. 🎬
I’d say watch it if you want to feel small. These people were the biggest thing in the world for a day.
Now they are just pixels in a digital archive.
It makes you think about how weird and fast fame really is.
The lighting in the Cocoanut Grove is so moody. Everything has this strange, oily glow.
It’s not like The Lighter That Failed where there is a clear gag. It's just... being there.
The film grain is so heavy it makes the nightclub look like it's underwater.
Then it just ends. No real goodbye, just a quick fade out.
It’s not "good" in a traditional way. But it feels real.
Watch it if you’re bored and want to see some dead people look happy for a minute. 🎩
IMDb 7.4
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