Honeymoon Beach Review: A pretty dry silent comedy

If you have twenty minutes to kill and a deep, slightly concerning love for late-1920s silent shorts, Honeymoon Beach is... okay, I guess. But if you actually want to laugh? You should probably steer clear of this one.

It is mostly for silent film completionists who want to see Billy Bevan squinting his eyes at things. Anyone hoping for a genuinely clever farce will end up staring at their phone. 📱

The whole setup is incredibly bizarre. Glenn Tryon is having his "bachlor" dinner, but the only guests are a dozen of his girl friends.

We never get an explanation for why he has zero male friends. It is just accepted as normal, which is the first of many things that made me squint at my screen. 🤨

Then we get into the meat of the "plot." Ma Watts wants Connie to marry a playboy named Billy Bevan, who is completely oblivious to the plan.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Honeymoon Beach (1932) through its definitive frames.

Billy Bevan is played by... Billy Bevan, wearing his signature mustache. He looks less like a dashing playboy and more like a confused plumber who wandered onto the wrong movie set.

Honestly, the pacing in this thing is so uneven. It feels like they had about three gag ideas and tried to stretch them across two reels. If you want something from this era with actual energy, you are much better off checking out Thanks for the Buggy Ride instead.

There is one moment where a character tries to hide under a table that goes on for a lifetime. The camera just stares.

You can practically feel the director behind the camera, waving his arms and begging the actors to do something—anything—funny. It does not work.

The writing by Ernest Pagano and Jack Townley feels like it was scribbled on the back of a wet napkin during lunch. Actually, that is insulting to napkins.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Honeymoon Beach (1932) through its definitive frames.

And what is with the character "Blondie"? She has her own plans for Billy, but her motivation seems to change every three seconds. 🤷‍♂️

It is the kind of movie where people run in and out of rooms because the script says they have to, not because it makes any sense.

Here are a few things I wrote down while watching:

• The "party" scene has about five seconds of energy before everyone looks bored.
• Billy Bevan's mustache deserves a better agent.
• That one reaction shot of the mother-in-law that lasts so long it becomes physically uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, it is just flat. It has the structure of a comedy but none of the actual wit.

If you find it on a dusty corner of the internet, maybe put it on in the background while you fold laundry. Otherwise, do not bother.