I Haven't Got a Hat (1935) - The messy, historic birth of Porky Pig

If you love old-school animation history, you should probably spend eight minutes watching this today. It is definitely not for anyone who gets annoyed by high-pitched 1930s kid voices or repetitive piano music. 🐷

Honestly, the whole thing is just a school recital where everything goes wrong. The kids are all weirdly shaped animals, and their teacher, Miss Goof, looks like she desperately needs a vacation.

The main reason anyone even remembers this cartoon is because of a chubby little guy named Porky Pig. He makes his very first appearance here, trying to recite a poem about Paul Revere.

It is actually kind of agonizing to watch. He stutters so hard his face turns purple, and he eventually just gives up and tells everyone to go home.

I love how raw this early animation feels. It has that same loose, slightly chaotic energy you find in other early shorts like Beach Nuts, where the plot is basically just an excuse for weird gags.

Then there is Beans the cat. He is supposed to be the main star of this era, but he is honestly just a bit of a jerk.

He ruins Oliver the dog's piano solo by tricking him into eating a red-hot pepper. Oliver's face turns bright red and he starts blowing bubbles of pain. It is pretty mean, but hey, 1930s cartoon logic.

Random things I wrote down:

• The teacher's piano playing is actually pretty catchy.
• Why does Oliver have such giant, high-waisted pants?
• The stuttering gag goes on for so long it almost becomes a suspense thriller.
• That little dog girl who sings the title song is cute, but her voice is loud enough to shatter glass.

If you have a spare ten minutes, give it a look on YouTube. It is a strange little time capsule from when cartoonists were still figuring out what worked.