7.3/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 7.3/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. I'll Take Vanilla remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Honestly, you probably know if you’re going to like I'll Take Vanilla before you even hit play. If you have a soft spot for silent-era slapstick and guys getting absolutely destroyed by their own bad luck, you’ll have a grand time. If you need a coherent plot or, you know, a lack of screaming children, maybe skip it. It’s light, it’s messy, and it doesn't try to be anything more than that.
Charley Chase is just doing his thing here as the ice-cream guy. He’s got that specific look of constant, low-level panic that carries the whole short. The plot is basically just a series of excuses for him to get covered in melting product and deal with a nephew who is, frankly, a total menace. Why anyone would let that kid out in public is beyond me, but then again, that’s where the humor comes from.
There’s a moment with the ice-cream cart that goes on a little longer than it needs to, and you can tell the camera is just waiting for the inevitable spill. It’s predictable, sure, but there’s something nice about seeing someone commit to the bit. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in No Sparking, where the chaos just builds until it’s ready to pop.
It’s not trying to change the world. It’s not trying to be a deep dive into the human condition like The Benson Murder Case. Sometimes you just want to see a guy try to sell ice cream and fail miserably because of a bratty kid. It’s goofy, it’s slightly loud, and it’s over before you have time to get bored. That’s about as much as you can ask for from a short like this. 🍦