DbcultAccessing Vault...
8.8/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 8.8/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Kaiserliebchen remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
So, Kaiserliebchen. If you’re the type of person who thinks The Hound of the Baskervilles was a bit too fast-paced and needed more people standing in drawing rooms looking vaguely troubled, you’re in luck. Everyone else? You’ll probably want to check your phone within the first twenty minutes.
The whole thing feels like it was filmed inside a box. There’s a lot of focus on Liane Haid, who honestly does her best with what she’s given, but the script is just so... stuffy. It reminded me a bit of the pacing issues I had with When Dawn Came, where the silence between lines of dialogue feels less like tension and more like the actors forgot their next cue.
There is a scene halfway through—I think it’s in a garden?—where a character turns to leave, but they have to navigate around a chair, and it takes them a solid ten seconds to exit the frame. Nobody edited that out. It’s a tiny, weird moment, but it stuck with me more than the actual plot.
I caught myself thinking about Charming Sinners while watching this. That film had a sort of kinetic energy that this movie just completely lacks. Kaiserliebchen is very proper. It’s polite to a fault. It never breaks a sweat, and frankly, I wish it would.
The ending just kind of happens to you. One minute they’re having tea, the next minute someone is weeping into a handkerchief, and then the credits roll. I didn't feel cheated, but I didn't feel anything else either.
It’s fine if you want to watch something while folding laundry. If you’re looking for a gripping drama, well, maybe put on Burning Daylight instead. At least that one has a pulse. ☕