Killer-Dog: A Trial for a Good Boy

Wait, they really put the dog on trial?

Look, if you like movies where animals are treated like human defendants, you might get a kick out of Killer-Dog. If you need logic, or a script that feels like it wasn't written on a napkin during a lunch break, you should probably skip this one. It's definitely for people who prefer their mid-century B-movies to be weirdly specific about agricultural laws.

The whole premise is just wild. Major, this poor German Shepherd, is sitting there in a courtroom, and everyone is acting like he understands the gravity of the situation. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in Sun Dog Trails, but with way more yelling and way fewer beautiful landscapes.

Oddly specific moments

There is this one shot where the camera just lingers on Major’s face while the prosecutor is going on some rant. You can tell the dog is just waiting for a treat, but the director clearly wants us to think he’s feeling shame. It’s hilarious.

The courtroom extras look like they’d rather be literally anywhere else. One guy in the back row looks like he’s trying to hide a nap. Can’t blame him, honestly.

Does it hold up?

• The pacing is... well, it’s not really pacing. It’s more like a series of people talking in a box.
• Major is a better actor than half the human cast. He just sits there. Perfect.
• The sheep isn't even in the room. Where’s the physical evidence?

I found myself thinking about Secrets of a Soul while watching, mostly because of how seriously this movie takes its own nonsense. It treats this dog trial like it’s the case of the century. It’s not. It’s just a dog who probably just wanted a snack.

It’s a weird, dusty relic. Sometimes the dialogue feels like it’s being read for the first time by people who just walked in off the street. You know what? I kind of respect it. 🐕