La damigella di Bard: A dusty attic full of old-world schemes

If you're looking for something fast-paced or modern, stay far, far away from La damigella di Bard. This is a movie for the kind of person who enjoys staring at lace curtains and heavy period costumes for two hours. If you hate slow burns or old-school Italian melodrama, you’ll probably find this thing insufferable.

It’s really a story about pride and fading glory. The Countess starts out in the big, fancy rooms and ends up in the garret, which is just a fancy way of saying a dusty attic. Emma Gramatica is pretty much the whole show here.

She plays the Countess with this brittle, sharp energy that makes you feel sorry for her, even when she’s clearly being a bit of a nightmare. There’s a scene where she’s adjusting her shawl that goes on for a lifetime. I think I counted three separate sighs before she even said a word.

The plot kicks in when she decides to play puppet master with the younger characters. It feels a bit like A Misfit Earl in how it deals with class and people trying to hold onto their identity. But here, the stakes are way quieter. It’s mostly just people talking in rooms that are way too large for them.

The young engineer, he’s fine, I guess. A bit wooden. Sometimes he stands there looking confused while the Countess whispers about his secret heritage. It reminded me a little of the stiff, formal pacing in The Eve of the Revolution, though maybe not as heavy on the history books.

There are these weird, empty hallways in the palace shots. You can almost see the dust motes dancing in the light. It feels less like a set and more like a place that hasn't been cleaned since the 1800s. 🏚️

The pacing is honestly a bit of a mess. Sometimes a scene will cut away just as it gets interesting, and other times it lingers on a reaction shot until it’s almost funny. You can feel the director really wanting you to understand the sadness of the situation. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it just makes you want to reach for a coffee.

Don't expect fireworks. It's a small, quiet, slightly grumpy movie. If you’re in the mood to watch someone hold onto their dignity while living in a cramped attic, this is exactly what you need. It’s not a masterpiece, but it definitely feels like a movie made by people who cared about the look of those old, drafty rooms.

Notes from the couch

• The lighting in the attic scenes is actually kind of beautiful.
• I’m still not sure if the engineer was actually who she said he was.
• The music swells at the exact wrong times.
• That one hat the Marquis’s daughter wears is truly something else. 👒