Lawless Riders is basically a Saturday afternoon nap

Is this for you?

Look, if you have a soft spot for grainy, black-and-white cowboy flicks where the dialogue is thin and the horses look like they’re doing more acting than the humans, you’ll probably find something to enjoy here. If you need a movie that makes sense or doesn't feel like it was slapped together on a Tuesday afternoon, you are going to hate this.

It’s not exactly Law of the Lawless, but it’s got that same dusty charm. 🤠

Notes from the couch

The plot is a real thin piece of paper. Edith overhears a plan, runs to tell Ken, and suddenly everyone is running around like they’ve lost their keys. It’s funny how fast people get thrown in jail in this town. One wrong look at a sheriff and you're behind bars.

I found myself staring at the background extras more than the main cast. There’s one guy leaning against a porch post in the second act who looks like he’s bored out of his mind. He doesn't move. Not once. It’s almost hypnotic.

Then there’s Pedro. His entrance is supposed to be this big, clever moment, but it’s staged with all the grace of a falling shed. He just kind of shows up, says a line, and we’re expected to believe the jailbreak plan is solid. Sure, whatever you say, pal.

The action scenes? They are what they are. A lot of pointing guns at the air and people falling down in slow motion. It reminded me a bit of the chaos in Cowboy Holiday, but with less energy. Still, it’s got that weird, comforting rhythm to it.

• The bank robbery plan is explained in like ten seconds.
• The framing of the hero is so obvious it’s almost impressive.
• I swear the same horse appears in three different scenes in different towns.
• The dialogue is just people telling each other what they’re about to do.

Maybe it’s not a masterpiece. But at least it doesn't take itself seriously. It knows exactly what it is: a quick, cheap ride through the West. It’s the kind of thing you watch while folding laundry. It fills the room with sound and doesn't ask you to think too hard about the plot holes, which are everywhere.

Don't expect the depth of Strangers May Kiss or anything like that. Just sit back, watch the hats move around, and enjoy the ride. Or don't. It’s not like it cares if you’re watching.