Liselotte von der Pfalz: A royal headache from another era

Is it worth the watch?

If you like period pieces where everyone is standing around in fancy velvet pretending they don't have back pain, sure. You’ll probably enjoy this if you’re a history buff who likes seeing the 1930s take on the 17th century. But if you’re looking for something that moves faster than a glacier? Yeah, you’ll hate this.

Honestly, watching Liselotte von der Pfalz is like visiting a museum where the exhibits refuse to talk to you. It’s got that specific, slightly dusty charm of mid-30s cinema. Everything is so deliberate. Too deliberate.

The whole premise is just a classic "fish out of water" story, but with more wigs and less water. Liselotte gets plucked from her German home and dropped into France. It’s supposed to be this grand, sweeping romance-meets-political-intrigue thing. Most of the time, though, it’s just people walking through hallways and looking concerned about their social standing.

There is this one scene—I think it’s about twenty minutes in—where she’s just staring out a window, and the camera lingers for so long I started checking if my internet connection had frozen. It’s a bold choice, I guess. It makes you feel the isolation, but it also makes you feel like you’ve aged five years.

The vibe is... heavy.

Renate Müller is doing the heavy lifting here. She’s trying so hard to give the character some spark, but the script keeps throwing cold water on her. It reminded me a bit of the suffocating feeling in The Littlest Rebel, but without the chaotic energy.

The sets are huge. They’re impressive, I’ll give them that. But they also feel oddly empty, like everyone just left the room right before the cameras started rolling. You can almost see the ghosts of the stagehands lurking in the corners.

I found myself getting distracted by the costumes. Are they authentic? Probably not. Do they look like they weigh forty pounds? Definitely. I don't know how anyone had a conversation in those collars without passing out.

• The dialogue is very "I declare!" and "Alas!"
• The lighting makes everyone look like they’re being haunted by a friendly candle.
• I’m pretty sure one of the extras in the background is just reading a magazine.

Sometimes, the movie stops taking itself so seriously, and those are the best bits. For like, five minutes, you get a glimpse of a real person behind the royal title. Then, someone walks in and starts talking about treaties, and we’re back to the slog.

It’s not a bad movie. It’s just... very committed to being a 1935 historical drama. It’s not trying to reinvent the wheel, it’s just trying to keep the wheel from falling off the carriage. 🏛️

If you’ve seen Northern Lights or anything that leans into that specific, slightly hollow grandeur, you’ll know the drill. It’s a nice enough artifact. Just don't go in expecting a pulse.