Midnight at the Wax Museum: A Dusty Night Out

Is this worth your time?

Honestly, only if you’re a sucker for 1930s British studio sets that look like they’re held together by glue and optimism. If you need a fast-paced thriller, stay far away. But if you want a movie that feels like a forgotten postcard from a damp basement, maybe give it a spin. 🕯️

Sir Clive is the kind of guy who makes bets just to feel something. Locking himself in the Chamber of Horrors? Groundbreaking stuff, Clive. The movie spends a lot of time just letting him sit there, staring at statues. It’s surprisingly quiet.

The crooks are just kind of there. They’re hanging around the edges, trying to act all sinister and threatening toward Carol. It feels like two different movies taped together. One is a spooky chamber piece, the other is a low-rent heist drama.

The wax figures look like they’ve seen better days. Some of them have this weird, glassy stare that probably wasn't intended to be as unsettling as it is. There’s a moment where the camera lingers on a bust, and I swear the dust motes were doing more acting than the lead.

I couldn't help but compare the pacing to The Devil Plays. At least that one had a bit more snap to its dialogue. Here, the characters seem to wait for each other to finish their sentences in a way that feels totally unnatural.

William Hartnell is in this, which is a nice treat for anyone who likes seeing future Doctors doing their early work. He’s fine, but he doesn't have much to chew on. He’s mostly just filling space.

Oddly specific observations:

• The lighting in the museum is suspiciously bright for a place that's supposed to be terrifying.
• I’m pretty sure one of the 'statues' blinks in the background of the wide shot.
• The script feels like it was written on the back of a napkin during a lunch break.
• There’s a door that creaks exactly the same way three times in a row.

The movie gets slightly better when it stops trying to be a serious mystery and just leans into the camp. When the crooks finally show their hand, everything feels so frantic and rushed. It’s like the budget ran out and they just said, "Let's just wrap this up by dinner."

It’s not a masterpiece, and it certainly isn't going to change your life. It’s just... there. Like an old piece of furniture you keep around because you forgot to throw it out. Maybe that's enough for a rainy Tuesday. 🌧️