Myach i serdtse: A weirdly charming Soviet sports rom-com

Is it worth your time?

If you like old-school Soviet cinema or just want to watch a movie where the plot hinges on a silly name coincidence, you’ll dig this. If you need high-octane sports action or a gritty drama, keep walking. You’ll probably hate how slowly it moves if you're used to modern editing.

There’s this weird, specific energy to Myach i serdtse. It’s not trying to be the next The Flying Scotsman or some big masterpiece. It’s just a movie about a guy named Aleksandr who meets a girl named Aleksandra. The script clearly thinks this is the funniest thing in the world. Maybe it was in 1935? 🤷‍♂️

The football scenes are... well, they happen. Don't go in expecting slick cinematography. Most of the time, it looks like a group of guys just jogging around in sweaters while someone yells at them. It’s actually pretty endearing. You can tell they were trying their best with what they had.

The weird stuff

• The dialogue feels like it was written by someone who had only heard about human romance from a textbook.
• The captain of the 'Hammer' team spends a lot of time looking deeply concerned about his hair, even during practice.
• I’m pretty sure one of the extras in the crowd is just reading a newspaper during a crucial goal scene.

It’s not as polished as something like The Forbidden City, but it has heart. Literally, the title mentions a heart. It feels like a relic from a different planet. One moment you're watching a tense locker room pep talk, and the next, you're watching a quiet stroll through a park that lasts for way too long.

The pacing is all over the place. It’s like the editor decided to cut a scene based on when the film reel ran out rather than what actually made sense for the story. I actually kind of liked that. It felt human. Not calculated.

Is it a great film? No. Is it a fun way to spend an hour and a half if you're feeling nostalgic for black and white charm? Definitely. It’s definitely more lighthearted than The Wise Birds. Also, the shoes they wear on the pitch are just terrifying. How did they run in those things?

Anyway, give it a shot if you don't mind a bit of rust. Just don't expect a tactical masterclass on the field. ⚽