Nine Days a Queen review: Actually good Tudor backstabbing

If you’re in the mood for some old-school British royal backstabbing, Nine Days a Queen is actually worth your time tonight.

It’s perfect for anyone who loves watching terrible people in fancy collars ruin a teenager's life for land. But if you want fast pacing or loud explosions, you’ll probably fall asleep before the first crown touches anyone's head. 👑

This one is all about Lady Jane Grey, played by Nova Pilbeam, who is basically the ultimate historical pawn. She just wants to read her books and look at birds, but her family decides she needs to marry John Mills.

Yes, a very young John Mills before he became the John Mills. They look like two kids forced to share a desk at school during the wedding scene.

The movie does this great, sad thing where Jane is clearly the only normal person in the room. Everyone else is whispering in dark corners or looking at maps with greedy eyes.

Cedric Hardwicke plays the Earl of Warwick, and he has this incredibly punchable, smug face the entire time. He doesn't even have to say anything; you just know he's writing someone's death warrant in his head.

It reminds me a bit of the silent melodrama stuff in Du Barry, Woman of Passion, but with way better hats and a much colder attitude. Though the palace rooms here look much colder and draftier.

There is this one scene where Jane is told she's the Queen, and she just looks terrified. The camera stays on her face as she realizes she's basically a dead girl walking.

I love how the film doesn't try to make the politics simple. It’s messy, and honestly, I got confused about who was Uncle to whom about forty minutes in.

But that actually makes it feel more real. History is messy and full of guys named Edward who all look slightly similar in black-and-white. Speaking of which, the kid playing King Edward looks so sickly you almost want to hand him a blanket through the screen.

He has these giant, sad eyes that dominate his whole face. You can tell the poor kid is not long for this world, and the greedy nobles are already drooling over his chair.

One weird detail I noticed was how loud the floorboards sound in this movie. Every time someone walks into a room to deliver bad news, it sounds like they are stepping on dry twigs. 🪵

And the ending is, well, we all know how Jane Grey's story ends. But the way they shoot the final walk to the block is surprisingly quiet.

No big swelling music, just this heavy, hollow silence that makes your stomach drop. The executioner actually looks like he feels bad about the whole thing, which was a nice touch.

It’s a bit dusty, sure, and some of the side actors shout their lines like they are trying to reach the back row of a theater. The sound recording tech back then clearly struggled with people whispering.

But Nova Pilbeam is just so good at being quiet. She holds the whole fragile thing together, even when the script gets a bit too theatrical.

Some things I wrote down:

• The hats in this movie are absolutely massive and look highly uncomfortable.
• Why does everyone in the Tudor court always look like they need a good scrub?
• John Mills has zero chemistry with Nova, but honestly, that fits the forced marriage vibe perfectly.
• The transition shots of old documents are actually pretty cool to look at.

It is not a masterpiece, but it has this heavy, sad mood that sticks with you. Definitely give it a spin if you want a historical movie that doesn't feel like a boring school lecture.