Rainbow Riders: Cowboy shenanigans and some very confused horses

Is it worth the time?

If you have an hour to kill and a deep, unexplainable love for dusty boots, bad mustaches, and horses that seem to have more charisma than the guys riding them, then sure. Watch Rainbow Riders. If you are looking for a coherent script or even a basic understanding of how human beings talk to each other, you should probably stay far, far away.

It’s essentially a standard-issue 1930s ranch struggle, but with a weirdly specific amount of time spent on people changing hats. 🤠

The plot, or lack thereof

Bud shows up to save the day, and within five minutes, he’s wearing a dead guy’s clothes. It’s a bold strategy. He tries to pull off the whole “I’m actually Texarkana Pete” thing, but he looks about as convincing as a toddler in a fedora. You can almost see the other outlaws wondering why they didn't just shoot him on sight.

The pacing is… frantic. It feels like the director was trying to finish the whole movie before the sun went down. There are scenes where people just sort of walk into frame, mumble a threat, and then wander off again. It’s very loose.

Odd moments I couldn't ignore

• There is a moment where the dialogue gets so quiet you’d think they were whispering secrets, only to realize the boom mic probably just gave up.
• The horses definitely know they’re in a movie. One of them, Starlight, looks more invested in the plot than the lead actors.
• I’m still trying to figure out why the outlaws have such a specific dress code. It’s like a fashion show for bank robbers.

If you like this sort of thing, you might also find some weirdly familiar vibes in Spurs or even the more straightforward Born to Battle. They aren't masterpieces, but they aren't pretending to be either. 🐴

The whole thing kind of falls apart once the masquerade is exposed, but by then, you’ve already invested enough time that you might as well see how they manage to escape. They don’t really escape with much grace, though. It’s mostly just a lot of running around in circles while someone shouts.

Don't expect anything profound. Just expect a lot of desert dust and people holding guns they clearly don't know how to aim. It’s goofy, it’s short, and it’s very much a product of its time. Maybe don't take it too seriously.