Rainbow Valley: Old School Grit or Just Old?

Is this worth your time?

Look, if you have a soft spot for grainy, black-and-white westerns where everyone wears ten-gallon hats and talks like they’re reading from a telegram, you might get a kick out of Rainbow Valley. If you need pacing that doesn’t feel like it’s being pulled by a tired mule, though, keep scrolling.

John Wayne is in it, which is obviously the main draw. He’s doing that young, stoic thing he did before he became the monument-sized legend. He plays an undercover agent, which is a funny setup considering he’s about the most recognizable guy in the room.

The Good, The Dusty, and The Weird

The plot kicks off when a local bigwig named Morgan gets spooked and brings in a gunman to blow Wayne’s cover. It’s simple, maybe too simple. One second Wayne is blending in, and the next, everyone is shooting at him. There isn't much middle ground.

There is this one moment where the cover-up gets blown that happens so fast I had to double-check I didn’t miss a scene. One minute he’s a nobody, the next, it’s a full-on shootout. The transition is practically non-existent. It’s like the editor just got bored and said, "Let’s skip to the part where they draw their guns."

• George 'Gabby' Hayes shows up. He’s always a delight, even when the dialogue is absolute fluff.
• The horses seem to have more screen time than some of the actual actors.
• There’s a scene in the valley that looks suspiciously like a painted backdrop from a middle-school play.

Not exactly high art

The dialogue is stiff enough to break teeth. You can almost feel the actors waiting for their turn to speak, like they’re afraid to interrupt each other. It’s not quite as charming as The Fighting Parson, which had a bit more spark to the banter.

I found myself staring at the background extras more than the leads. There’s a guy in the back of the saloon scene who just stands there for three minutes straight holding a drink that he never actually sips. It’s oddly hypnotic. Maybe he’s waiting for the same thing I was—for something to actually happen.

Look, Rainbow Valley isn’t going to change your life. It’s a B-western that knows exactly what it is. It’s not trying to be The Lone Chance or anything deep. It’s just guys in hats doing cowboy things until the credits roll. If you like the smell of old film stock and horses, give it a whirl. Otherwise, maybe just watch a trailer and call it a day. 🤠