Scipione l'africano: A giant, dusty Roman history lesson

Look, if you are the kind of person who enjoys watching thousands of extras running around in sandals just because it looks expensive, you’ll probably find Scipione l'africano charming in a weird way. If you need a movie that actually has a pulse or characters who act like real people, skip this. It’s a relic, plain and simple.

The whole thing feels like it was filmed in a heatwave. Everyone is shouting their lines as if the microphones were placed a mile away from the set. It’s not subtle. At all.

The Roman Senate scenes

There is a lot of standing around in marble halls. The speeches go on forever. You start to sympathize with the background actors who have to stand there looking impressed while some guy in a toga yells about Hannibal. One senator in the back looks like he’s trying to hide a yawn during the most intense monologue. I couldn't stop staring at him.

It’s not quite as dramatic as Wild Blood, which manages to make its stakes feel personal. Here, everything is just big. Too big. The elephants in the Zama sequence are definitely the highlight, mostly because they are the only things on screen that don't seem to be over-acting.

• The armor looks like it came straight from a theatrical costume closet.
• The battle at Zama is surprisingly well-staged, despite the shaky camera work.
• The dialogue is basically just people declaring things at each other.

Is it a masterpiece? Hardly. It feels like a project designed to show off, and it succeeds at that. It reminds me a bit of the grandiosity found in Vi bygger landet, but with more swords and less, well, actual plot. Sometimes the movie stops dead just so we can appreciate how many people they hired for the day. It’s impressive, but you catch yourself checking the time.

The ending is exactly what you expect. It’s loud, it’s triumphant, and it’s exhausting. You walk away feeling like you’ve been through a very dusty, very noisy history lecture. 🏛️