Watching Old Stars Garden and Juggle

Is this for you?

Honestly, you should watch this if you’re a massive fan of old Hollywood gossip or just really love watching 1930s people be bored. If you want a plot, or pacing, or anything resembling a movie with actual stakes, you are going to hate this. It’s essentially a glorified home movie that somehow got a release.

It’s only a few minutes long, which is a mercy. Ralph Staub really just pointed a camera at some actors and said, "Go do your chores."

The vibe

Watching Warren William try to look like he’s actually farming is a trip. He has that look in his eyes like he’s waiting for the director to yell cut so he can get back to a real trailer. It’s not quite as intense as the drama you see in The Blot, but it’s got its own weird charm.

Then there’s Eddie Cantor juggling. He does it well enough, I guess? It feels like the kind of thing they forced people to do just to prove they were "regular folks" with "regular hobbies."

The tennis match with Gene Raymond is the highlight, mostly because the camera work is so shaky you feel like you’re actually on the court. Or maybe just having a mild dizzy spell. 🎾

Random thoughts

• The transition to the premiere at the end feels like a jump cut from a dream into a nightmare.
• The music is just constantly playing in the background, refusing to stop even when it doesn't match what’s happening.
• I spent way too long staring at the background extras in the premiere sequence. They all look exhausted.
• It’s definitely less stressful than watching Prostitution, that’s for sure.

Is it art? No. Is it a weird window into a time where we cared way too much about what movie stars ate for breakfast? Absolutely. It’s not trying to teach you anything. It’s just showing you things.

I don't know why I watched the whole thing. I think I just got stuck in a loop of watching Mary Brian tap dance until my brain turned to mush. 🤷‍♂️