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5.9/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.9/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Sherlock Holmes and the Missing Rembrandt remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you love dusty, black-and-white mysteries where people talk like they have a mouth full of marbles, this is a goldmine. But if you need explosions or camera movement that doesn't feel like a heavy crane groaning in a warehouse, you will probably hate it.
I managed to catch a scratchy print of this 1932 Arthur Wontner flick. Wontner is actually my favorite Holmes, even if almost nobody remembers him today.
He looks exactly like the drawings from the old Strand magazines. He has this incredibly long, thin nose and a way of leaning forward that makes him look like an elegant bird of prey. 🦅
Ian Fleming plays Watson here—not the James Bond creator, obviously. He's much more useful than the bumbling Watson we usually get in the later films, which is a relief.
The plot is pretty simple, almost silly. Some artist who has a very serious drug habit steals a priceless Rembrandt painting.
The drug addiction angle is handled with all the subtlety of a car crash. The actor playing the artist, Miles Mander, does this wild eye-rolling thing that made me laugh out loud.
He looks less like a tortured genius and more like someone who drank five cups of espresso right before the camera started rolling.
There is this one scene in Holmes' study where the sound design goes completely haywire. Every time someone sets down a teacup, it sounds like a metal trash can falling down the stairs. ☕
You can tell the crew were still figuring out how microphones worked back then.
I kept thinking about other old dramas from around this era, like the silent film Sold for Marriage, which had way better visual storytelling. This one is basically a filmed stage play.
But honestly, that's part of the charm.
Francis L. Sullivan shows up too, looking absolutely massive. He has this screen presence that just sucks all the air out of the room, even when he isn't saying anything.
His character is supposed to be threatening, but he mostly just looks like a very annoyed English headmaster who caught you chewing gum.
There is a moment near the middle where Holmes disguised himself. It is the worst disguise I have ever seen in my life.
He literally just puts on a slightly different hat and a fake mustache that looks like it is peeling off at the corner. And Watson doesn't recognize him!
I mean, come on, Watson. You live with the guy.
The pacing gets really slow in the second half. They spend about ten minutes just talking about a window latch.
I almost drifted off, thinking about that bizarre Bulgarian film Pod orlovoto gnezdo I watched last week. Now that was a weird trip.
Back to the painting though. They find it in the most obvious spot imaginable.
I won't ruin it, but let's just say nobody in this movie would make a good hide-and-seek player.
Its got that cozy, rainy-Sunday-afternoon vibe. The kind of movie you keep on in the background while you make toast.
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