5.8/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 5.8/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Simple Simon remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have five minutes and enjoy watching early, slightly glitchy animation, then sure. It's a relic. People who hate older cartoons or need a complex plot will probably find it boring. It is essentially a nursery rhyme turned into a very uncomfortable stalking scenario.
Simon just wants a pie. We’ve all been there, right? But the pieman in this thing has zero chill. He doesn't just get annoyed; he makes it his life’s mission to ruin Simon’s day at the fair.
The pacing is honestly all over the place. One second Simon is walking down the road, and the next he’s being hunted by a man with a tray of pastries. It feels like a fever dream you’d have after eating too much cheese before bed.
I couldn't stop looking at the background art. It has that hand-drawn, wobbly quality that makes everything feel like it's about to melt off the screen. It’s charming, but also a bit unsettling.
Speaking of old-school animation, it reminds me a little bit of the chaotic energy in Blotto, even if they aren't the same style at all. Both have that 'things are going to go wrong very quickly' vibe.
The pieman’s face when he gets mad? Pure nightmare fuel. He looks like he’s about to explode over a single unpaid pie. It’s a bit dramatic, don't you think?
It’s not trying to change the world. It’s just a guy, a pie, and a very intense grudge. Sometimes that’s enough to keep you watching for a few minutes, even if it feels a little bit like watching a car crash in slow motion. 🥧