Straszny dwór (1936) Review: Opera, Mustaches, and Old School Polish Charm

Is it worth the watch?

Honestly, you should only watch this if you have a soft spot for musical theater or if you’re curious about what Polish cinema looked like right before everything changed in the late 30s.

Opera fans will probably find it charming. People who hate people bursting into song for no reason will absolutely lose their minds within ten minutes.

It is a bit of a time capsule. It feels dusty, but in a way that’s actually kind of cozy if you’re in the right mood.

The Plot (Or lack thereof)

So, there are these two brothers, Stefan and Zbigniew. They are soldiers and they decide that women are just a distraction from being brave and patriotic.

They make a solemn vow to never get married. It is the kind of thing young men do in movies when you know for a fact they will be married by the end of the week.

Then they go visit their aunt. She is played by Mieczyslawa Cwiklinska, who is basically the queen of this era of Polish movies.

She wants them married off, obviously. She’s very pushy in that way only movie aunts can be.

They end up at this place called the Straszny dwór, which means the Haunted Manor. It isn’t actually haunted by ghosts, just by some very determined girls and a grandfather clock that acts weird.

The Vibes

The first thing I noticed was the mustaches. Everyone has these incredibly thick, perfectly groomed mustaches.

The brothers look like they spend three hours a day just on facial hair maintenance. It makes the whole 'hardened soldier' vibe a bit hard to buy into.

It’s very stagey. The camera mostly just stands there and watches people walk into the frame, talk loudly, and then walk out.

If you’ve seen The Vortex, you know that feeling where the movie hasn't quite figured out it isn't a play yet. It's very much like that.

The singing is... a lot. It’s real opera.

It isn't like Rose-Marie where the songs feel like pop hits of the day. This is full-throated, vibrate-the-windows singing.

Sometimes a character will start singing and the plot just stops for five minutes. You just have to sit there and take it.

Small Things I Noticed

• The set design for the manor is actually pretty cool. It has all these old portraits that look like they’re judging you.
• There is a scene where a guy is hiding inside a clock. It is supposed to be a big reveal, but you can totally see his shoes for a few seconds before.
• The way they drink out of those massive wooden mugs. I don't know why, but it looks so satisfying.
• The editing is a bit jumpy. One second they are in the woods, the next they are in a dining room with no transition.

Is it actually funny?

The comedy is very broad. Lots of mugging for the camera.

Stanislaw Sielanski plays the servant, and he’s doing that typical 'funny sidekick' thing. He’s actually pretty good at physical comedy, even if some of the jokes feel about a hundred years old.

Wait, they are almost a hundred years old. So I guess that’s fair.

There is this one reaction shot of the aunt looking annoyed that lasted way too long. I actually laughed out loud because it became awkward.

"A house is only as haunted as the people living in it want it to be."

I think I read that somewhere, but it fits here. The 'haunting' is all just a big prank to get the brothers to break their vow.

The movie is very patriotic, too. It’s all about Polish honor and being a good son of the motherland.

It feels very earnest. There is zero irony in this movie.

In a way, that’s refreshing. Everything today is so meta and self-aware.

This movie just wants you to look at the pretty costumes and listen to the loud singing. It’s not trying to be smart.

The Technical Stuff

The sound quality on the version I watched was pretty rough. The high notes in the songs sometimes turned into static.

It adds to the charm, I guess? Like listening to an old record your grandpa left in the attic.

The lighting is very flat. Everything is bright.

Even the 'scary' scenes in the haunted manor are lit like a grocery store. It makes the ghosts look very... solid.

I did like the outdoor shots, though. There's a certain texture to old black and white film when it's shot in natural light.

Final Thoughts

I don't think I'd watch it again, but I'm glad I saw it once. It’s a glimpse into a world that doesn't exist anymore.

If you can handle the operatic style, it's a decent way to spend an afternoon. Just don't expect a horror movie because of the title.

It’s a rom-com with swords and very loud tenors. That’s about it. Not a masterpiece, but a nice little piece of history. 🎥