The Desert Trail: John Wayne doing his thing

Is it worth your time?

Look, if you're a fan of old-school B-westerns where everyone wears hats slightly too big for their heads and the dialogue sounds like it was written on a napkin during lunch, you'll have a good time. If you need complex character arcs or, I don't know, a coherent reason for why people are constantly jumping onto moving stagecoaches, maybe skip it. It's short, it's dusty, and John Wayne is young enough to look like he's still figuring out how to walk in those boots.

The whole setup is one of those classic 'wrongly accused' deals that lasts about five minutes before we’re off to the races. John Scott and his friend Kansas Charlie aren't exactly masterminds, but they sure can ride. There’s a scene where they flee town that feels like it’s just there to pad out the runtime, but honestly? I didn't mind. The horses look tired, and frankly, I felt a bit tired for them.

It’s funny comparing this to something like Zvenigora. You couldn't find two more different movies if you tried. While one is trying to be all avant-garde and weird, The Desert Trail just wants to get you to the next saloon brawl without breaking a sweat.

The supporting cast is full of faces that look like they’ve been chewed up by the sun. You’ve got guys like Artie Ortego and Frank Ellis popping up everywhere. It’s like they were just hanging out on the lot and the director yelled, 'Hey, come be a bad guy for a minute!'

There is this one moment near the middle where a character talks for way too long about a map, and I swear you can see the actor trying to remember his lines. It’s charming in a weird way. It’s not (Merry Wives of Reno) where everything is polished and punchy; it’s just loose.

The Good, The Bad, and The Dusty

• The fight choreography is basically just two guys flailing in a circle. It’s great.
• The hats. Seriously, some of these hats look like they weigh twenty pounds.
• The pacing is frantic, which is a nice way of saying they didn't have enough film to slow down.
• I counted three different scenes that end with someone riding off into a cloud of dust that clearly wasn't there two seconds ago.

Honestly, the movie gets better once they hit Poker City and the whole 'we're innocent' thing starts to actually get tested. It doesn't have the grand scope of some other stuff, and it’s definitely not going to change your life. But for a rainy afternoon? It’s fine. It’s just a movie, and sometimes that's all you need. 🐎🌵