Joan Crawford and William Powell in The Last of Mrs. Cheyney

Is it worth your time?

If you like movies where everyone speaks in perfectly crisp sentences while holding a martini, sure. This isn't exactly high-stakes drama, but it’s a pleasant enough way to burn ninety minutes if you’ve got nothing better to do. If you need grit, speed, or anything resembling modern pacing, look elsewhere. This one is for the fans of old-school MGM polish.

The whole thing feels like a play that forgot it wasn't a play anymore. You spend almost the entire movie in these massive, ornate rooms where people just sort of… stand around being witty at each other. It’s light, airy, and honestly, a little bit exhausting after a while. I found myself wishing they’d just go outside for a walk or something.

Joan Crawford is doing that thing she does where she’s playing a character who’s playing a character. It’s fun, but you can see her working hard to keep the charm offensive going. William Powell is, well, William Powell. He’s effortlessly cool, which is both a blessing and a bit of a problem because he makes everyone else look like they’re trying way too hard.

There is this one moment with a necklace that goes on for an eternity. It’s supposed to be suspenseful, I think? Instead, I spent the time looking at the wallpaper patterns in the background. They were surprisingly busy.

It’s not as sharp as The Age of Innocence, which at least had the decency to be meaner about its social climbers. This feels more like a polite nod to the genre than a real dive into it. Sometimes the dialogue snaps, other times it just kind of drifts off into the furniture.

I caught myself zoning out during the third act, just watching the way the light hit the glassware. The movie knows it's a bit of a fluff piece, and it doesn't try to be anything else. That’s probably for the best.

Some random notes I scribbled down:

• The tuxedos are sharper than the plot twists.
• I swear the same background actor walks past the library door three different times in one scene.
• If you want something with a bit more grit, you’re better off watching Body and Soul instead.
• The butler has better comedic timing than half the main cast.
• Seriously, why are there so many doors in this house?

It’s not a bad movie. It’s just a very tidy one. It’s the kind of thing you watch when you’re tired of the world and just want to look at pretty dresses and people pretending to be richer than they actually are. Just don't go in expecting a masterpiece. It's a nice, soft cushion of a film. Nothing more, nothing less. 🍸