Trois jeunes filles nues: A silent movie where people won't stop 'singing'

So, is Trois jeunes filles nues worth your time today? If you have a soft spot for grainy French silliness and early silent film history, then yeah, it's a fun little trip. But if you're looking for a plot that actually makes sense or—heaven forbid—the nudity promised by the title, you’re going to be disappointed. You will probably hate this if you can't stand old movies where everyone gestures like they’re trying to land a plane in a storm.

Let's get the title out of the way first. It means 'three naked young girls.' It’s a total lie. It was 1929, so it was basically just clickbait for people walking past theaters in Paris. Nobody is naked. Most of the time, they are covered in about four layers of heavy fabric and some of the most aggressive hats I’ve ever seen. 👒

The movie is based on an operetta, which is such a weird choice for a silent film. You spend half the time watching people stand in place, puffing out their chests and opening their mouths really wide. They are clearly singing their hearts out. But you just sit there in silence. It’s like watching a music video on mute while your neighbor bangs on the wall. 🎵

Every now and then, a title card pops up with a lyric, but it’s not the same. It makes the pacing feel really jerky. One second they are talking, the next they are 'singing' for three minutes of screen time. It reminds me of the weird rhythm in Midinettes, where the energy just spikes for no reason.

The plot? Something about three sisters—Lotte, Lulu, and I think the other one is named Eva. They end up on a ship or near a ship with a bunch of sailors. There is a lot of flirtation. There is even more misunderstanding. It’s the kind of movie where a guy hides under a bed for ten minutes just because he heard a knock at the door.

It’s very similar to The Girl in the Limousine in that sense. Just a lot of people in the wrong rooms at the wrong time. If you like door-slamming commedy, you’ll be fine. If not, you’ll be checking your watch.

François Rozet is the 'hero,' I guess, but his mustache is the real star. It’s this thin, twitchy thing that looks like it was drawn on with a shaky hand. Every time he gets 'passionate,' the mustache starts to tremble. It’s hard to take the romance seriously when you’re worried his facial hair is about to fall off into his soup.

Then there’s Annabella. She’s quite young here, but you can see why she became a huge star later. She has this natural spark. While everyone else is waving their arms like they’re drowning, she actually uses her eyes. She’s the only one who feels like a real person and not a cartoon character. 🌟

I noticed the sets are... well, they are definitely made of wood and paint. In one scene at the hotel, a character slams a door and the entire wall wobbles. You can literally see the 'stone' pillar shake. It’s charming in a way, but it also reminds you that this was a budget production trying to look fancy.

Pierre Labry is also in this, and he has a face that looks permanently startled. Like he just remembered he left the stove on at home. He does a lot of the heavy lifting for the 'humor,' which mostly involves him looking confused. It’s not exactly high-brow stuff. Didja notice how much screen time is spent just on people walking down hallways? It’s a lot of filler.

The whole thing feels a bit like A Modern Du Barry in how it tries to be 'naughty' and modern but is actually very traditional. The girls want to be free and wild, but they mostly just want to find a nice guy with a uniform. It’s a bit of a tease, really. The movie keeps promising something scandalous and then gives you a polite handshake instead.

The lighting is incredibly flat. There are almost no shadows, which makes everything look like a brightly lit grocery store. It’s a big contrast to something like The Savage, which at least tries to have some atmosphere. Here, it’s just: lights on, actors go!

One scene that actually made me laugh out loud involved a sailor trying to hide a bottle of wine. He’s so bad at it. He tucks it under his arm and then tries to salute. The bottle just slides down his back. It’s a simple gag, but it’s better than the ten minutes of silent 'singing' that followed it.

Wait, I almost forgot to mention the ending. It happens so fast. It’s like the director realized they were out of film. Suddenly, every couple is holding hands and the 'villain' just disappears. Poof. Happy ending. It’s not satisfying, but at that point, you’re just glad the shouting (silently) is over.

Is it a masterpiece? Not even close. Is it a fun relic? Yeah, kind of. Just don't go in expecting anything profound. It’s just people in 1929 having a weird, quiet party. 🥂