White Death: A whole lot of waiting for a shark

Is it worth your time?

If you like movies that feel like dusty, sun-bleached photographs, you might find something here. But if you’re looking for a thrill ride or something that actually moves, skip it. This one is for the folks who get a kick out of vintage gear and guys with very serious moustaches shouting at waves. If you need a movie to keep you awake, this is definitely not it. 🦈

There is this moment where they’re all just standing on the deck, looking out at the water. It lasts for what feels like a week. The camera doesn't even move. I started counting the ripples in the water just to stay focused.

The whole thing feels like a weird cousin to Inyaah (Jungle Goddess) in terms of that specific brand of '30s adventure energy. Only with fewer trees and way more saltwater.

The Hunt

The legendary 'White Death' is basically a myth they keep talking about to justify why they’re still on the boat. Nobody actually *sees* anything for a long, long time. When the shark finally pops up, it looks... well, it looks like a model. A very stiff, very tired model.

There's this one guy, Harry Wyper, who spends most of the runtime looking like he’s personally offended by the ocean. It’s kind of funny if you stop taking the 'adventure' part seriously.

• The sound of the waves is louder than the dialogue sometimes.
• The ropes on the boat look more authentic than the shark itself.
• I swear the shark is just a cardboard cutout in at least two shots.

It’s not trying to be The Prey or anything remotely modern. It’s just people on a boat. Sometimes that’s enough, I guess? Though honestly, I found myself daydreaming about other movies, like Oliver the Eighth, just because I wanted something, *anything*, to happen.

You can tell they really wanted this to be an epic, but the budget clearly said 'no.' The result is this strange, slow, oddly quiet movie about men and their pride. It’s imperfect, a bit clunky, and definitely feels its age.

Still, there’s a certain charm to the stubbornness of it all. They really, really want that shark. I just wanted them to catch it so I could go make a sandwich. 🥪