Alcatraz Island (1937) review - Loud doors and fast talk

If you have an hour to spare tonight and love old-school black-and-white crime flicks, Alcatraz Island is absolutely worth a watch. Fans of snappy 1930s fast-talkers will have a great time, but anyone expecting a deep, historically accurate prison documentary is going to absolutely hate how silly this gets. ⛓️

The whole thing runs on pure B-movie energy, the kind where characters explain the entire plot to each other in about three seconds. John Litel plays Gat Brady, a racketeer who isn't really a bad guy, he just has a daughter he wants to shield from his shady past.

Of course, the tax man catches up to him, which feels like a lazy way to get him behind bars but hey, it worked for Al Capone. Soon enough, he is transferred to the newly opened Alcatraz, and the movie practically vibrates with excitement to show us the 'un-escapable' island.

I love how the film treats the prison like some futuristic sci-fi fortress. The guards keep talking about the metal detectors and the automatic locks like they are showing off a new spaceship. 🚀

There is this one incredibly specific sound effect they use every time a cell door closes. It sounds exactly like someone violently slamming a metal filing cabinet, and they play it so loud in the audio mix.

Litel has this amazingly expressive, slightly doughy face that makes his 'tough guy' routine hilarious but somehow totally believable. He doesn't look like a killer, which helps because he gets framed for shivving a guy he swore he wouldn't touch.

The drama with his daughter and her boyfriend (played by Dick Purcell) feels like it belongs in a completely different, much mushier movie. Ann Sheridan shows up too, before she became a massive star, and she mostly just has to look worried in some very nice hats.

It reminds me a bit of the frantic pacing in Three on a Match, where the plot just barrels forward without caring if you can keep up. If you blink, you will miss the entire setup of the murder frame-up.

And the trial at the end? Oh man, it is a masterpiece of rushing to the finish line.

The prosecutor basically says 'Well, I guess we were wrong!' and the movie just ends on a happy family reunion. It is so abrupt it made me laugh out loud. 😂

If you want a gritty masterpiece, look elsewhere, maybe check out Notorious But Nice for a different kind of melodrama. But if you want to see tough guys in high-waisted trousers yelling at each other in tiny cells, this is the good stuff.

Random things I scribbled down:

• The warden's office has the most ridiculously large windows for a maximum-security prison.
• That one guy's fake mustache definitely looked like it was peeling off during the yard scene.
• Nobody actually seems to do any work on Alcatraz, they just stand around gossiping like high schoolers.