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7.4/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 7.4/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Almost Married remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you're looking for a tight, logical thriller, look somewhere else. Almost Married is the kind of movie that feels like it was written in a fever dream where the characters decide to make the worst possible choice in every single scene.
Is it worth watching today? Only if you have a soft spot for 1930s melodrama and don't mind a plot that moves at the speed of a broken train. It’s got that weird, grainy charm, but it sure isn’t for anyone who demands realism.
Mischa Auer is just wild here. He plays Louis Capristi, a composer who is also, you know, an escaped killer. He spends half the movie looming in the background like a bad smell. Every time he shows up, the movie gets way more interesting.
There’s this one moment in a Soho restaurant where he just… kills a woman because she recognizes him. It happens so fast I almost missed it. No build-up. Just boom, he's a murderer again. It’s hilariously blunt.
The whole diplomatic immunity plot is a bit of a reach, even for 1932. The way the characters just casually decide to commit bigamy to avoid some police officers on a train? It’s a total 'well, why not?' moment that had me laughing at the screen.
It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in The Midnight Patrol, though this one has way more piano-playing mania. The film gets noticeably better once it stops trying to be a romance and leans into being a trashy crime flick.
Sometimes the camera just hangs on someone’s face for five seconds too long. You can almost feel the director thinking, 'Is this long enough? Let's keep it going.' It’s awkward, but in a way that makes me feel like I’m actually sitting in the theater with them.
It’s not a masterpiece. It’s not even a good movie by most standards. But it’s got enough weird, twitchy energy to keep you from turning it off. Just don't go in expecting The Eternal Grind level of polish. This is pure, messy 30s pulp.
