Anything Goes (1936) review - Bing Crosby, Ethel Merman, and total chaos

If you are in the mood for high-energy nonsense from the 1930s, Anything Goes is absolutely worth your time tonight. People who love snappy banter and Bing Crosby looking incredibly relaxed while chaos happens around him will eat this up. But if you want a plot that actually makes sense, you will probably turn this off after ten minutes. 🚢

The whole thing takes place on a giant boat, which is clearly just a series of very obvious Hollywood soundstages. It doesn't have that outdoor, breezy feel of something like State Fair. Instead, it feels wonderfully cramped and theatrical.

Bing Crosby plays a guy who falls for a blonde heiress (Ida Lupino, looking unbelievably young here) and sneaks onto a ship to save her. The only problem is he does not have a ticket, so he has to hide out with a second-rate gangster played by Charles Ruggles.

Ruggles is easily the best part of the movie. He is disguised as a priest but keeps accidentally showing off his machine gun, and his comic timing is just perfect.

The Ethel Merman Factor

Then there is Ethel Merman. She does not really act so much as she just blasts her way through every scene she is in.

When she sings "I Get a Kick Out of You," she looks directly into the camera lens. It is almost intimidating, like she is daring you to look away. I loved it.

Some of the edits are super weird though. In one scene, Bing is talking to Ida, and the camera cuts to a reaction shot that lingers for about three seconds too long. You can literally see Ida waiting for the director to yell cut. It's hilarious.

"It is the kind of movie where people break into song because they have literally nothing else to do with their hands."

The music is great, obviously, even if they cut out a bunch of Cole Porter's original stage songs for some reason. The replacement songs are mostly forgettable, but Bing makes them sound good anyway because, well, he is Bing Crosby.

Is it a masterpiece? Not even close. The third act sort of just peters out once they get off the boat, and the resolution is incredibly rushed. But for a lazy afternoon, it is a total blast.

Random things I noticed:

• Charles Ruggles trying to hide a dog in his coat is top-tier physical comedy.
• The background extras in the dining room scene are eating what looks like wet cardboard.
• Bing's hat changes angles between shots in the exact same conversation. Continuity was clearly not a priority here.
• Ida Lupino's character seems to exist only to look worried in nice silk dresses.

Give it a spin if you want something light. Just do not expect it to change your life.