Brides Are Like That: A mild headache of a comedy

Is this worth your time?

Honestly, only if you have a soft spot for black-and-white fluff from the thirties. If you hate characters who make consistently bad life choices, skip this. It’s for people who want something to watch while folding laundry.

Bill is the kind of guy who probably thinks a firm handshake is a career path. Watching him drift through his uncle’s apple orchard money is… well, it’s frustrating. But then again, who hasn't known a Bill?

The whole thing hinges on him convincing Hazel to ditch the local doctor for him. The chemistry is, let’s say, very professional. Like they were reading their lines off a sandwich board just out of frame. It doesn’t have the bite of Peck's Bad Boy, that’s for sure.

Small things I noticed:

• There is a background extra in the garden scene who looks like he’s having a crisis. He just stares at the grass for a full thirty seconds.
• The props department clearly had a budget of twelve dollars. The 'wealthy' apple grove looks like it’s being held up by string.
• Every time Bill mentions a 'big plan,' the music swells like he’s about to discover fire. He’s just talking about a lawn mower.

The movie gets noticeably better once the uncle stops being so patient. When he finally snaps, the dialogue gets a bit of grit. It’s not much, but it’s real. I found myself rooting for the uncle to just lock the door.

It feels a lot like Her Marriage Vow in how it treats the sanctity of marriage as a giant punchline. I’m not saying it’s deep. It’s not. Sometimes you just want to see a guy try to play golf and fail, right?

The ending is so predictable you can see it from the opening credits. But maybe that’s the point. It doesn’t try to be anything else. It just is.

I caught myself looking at the wallpaper in the living room set halfway through. It’s peeling in the corner. Nobody bothered to fix it. That’s kind of the movie in a nutshell. Good enough for government work. 🤷‍♂️