7.1/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 7.1/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Choose Your 'Weppins' remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Look, if you have seven minutes to kill and you want to see a sailor man get punched in the gut, this is for you. It’s a total relic, obviously. If you hate old-school animation or get annoyed by characters who mumble, maybe skip it. But honestly, it’s a fun little time capsule.
The whole premise is just peak cartoon logic. Wimpy is a cop? Sure. A pawn shop that sells nothing but lethal weaponry? Why not. It’s not exactly I Am the Law in terms of procedural accuracy, but it doesn't need to be.
Popeye and Olive are just standing there, and suddenly the shop is a war zone. I found myself wondering why they were even selling grenades next to the clocks. It’s the kind of background detail that doesn't matter, but it's very distracting if you think about it for more than a second.
You can tell the animators were just having fun with the physics of it all. People getting tied up in their own gear. The prisoner is a total mess, just flailing around. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in Gooseland, just with more anvils and fewer geese.
There's this moment where a weapon just goes off for no reason. It’s barely a blip on the screen, but it cracked me up. It feels like someone dropped their coffee in the booth and just decided to leave it in the final cut.
It’s not trying to say anything profound about society or crime. It’s just Popeye being Popeye. Sometimes a movie doesn't need a point, right? It just needs to move fast and keep you from looking at your phone. This does that perfectly. ⚓️