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5.5/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.5/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Crimes Square remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Honestly, only if you really love those dusty, pre-Code crime flicks where everyone talks out of the side of their mouth. If you need snappy pacing or modern logic, you’ll probably find this a bit of a slog. But, if you like watching people make terrible life choices while wearing very sharp hats, you’ll dig it.
The whole thing feels like it was filmed in a basement, which is weirdly part of the charm. Pat O'Brien is doing that thing where he tries to act like a saint while clearly being haunted by every bad decision he’s ever made. It’s not subtle, but it works.
Mary Doran is basically the engine of this movie. She’s so spiteful that it feels like she’s carrying the entire plot on her back just by being angry. There’s a specific scene where she’s glaring through a window that lasts about five seconds too long, and I think that’s when I really started to like her performance. She’s just pure chaos.
It’s funny how movies like this deal with "going straight." It’s never about getting a job or paying taxes. It’s always just, "I bought a new suit and now I’m a good person." The movie doesn’t seem to care about the logic of it, and honestly, neither did I.
It’s definitely a step up from something like Double Reward in terms of sheer grit, though it lacks the polish of bigger studio stuff. You can tell they were trying to stretch every single nickel. Sometimes it feels like they’re reusing the same street corner for every single outdoor shot.
Is it a masterpiece? No. Is it better than the slog of The Hayseeds Come to Sydney? Probably. It’s just a scrappy, messy little movie that doesn't overstay its welcome. Sometimes that's exactly what you need on a rainy Tuesday. 🚬